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Mary Worth, 6/2/24

I know I’ve been harping for a while on “why is Wilbur so obsessed with his dead fish and not talking about his alive fish?” Earlier this week he claimed that, since Stellan was named after Estelle, his fishy demise truly brought home the fact that Wilbur and Estelle would never get back together, but I think today makes the real story clear: while Stellan was happy to listen to Wilbur natter on for hours about his pathetic love life, Willa would respond by simply facing the back of the tank in obvious and appropriate contempt. And you know what? Good for her.

Blondie, 6/2/24

I was going to go on a rant here about how legacy strips need to stop putting Boomer nostalgia into the mouths of comics characters who cannot be older than 50 or so, but then I saw the “Bratman and Robin” panel and my disgust at its laziness immediately purged all other irritations from my mind. “Robin” is just an actual robin, sitting on a giant bottle of mustard? No attempt at a pun or wordplay or anything? Get outta here with that shit, man.

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Gasoline Alley, 6/1/24

Uh oh, looks like the electricity is out all over Gasoline Alley! I guess electricity has decided, in the wake of the rejection of the proposed “Electric Acres” renaming, that it isn’t wanted there any more. And who can blame it? Tough luck, Walt! Enjoy drinking your precious gasoline, in the dark!

Blondie, 6/1/24

I’ve always found the ways shoes are drawn in Blondie weird and off-putting, but I don’t think I ever actually tried to imagine the way the feet underneath them look. Well, thanks to today’s strip, now I have, and I wish I hadn’t. I don’t care for it.

Dennis the Menace, 6/1/24

Hey, Dennis, buddy, if you don’t have a good bit of menace in the chamber, you shouldn’t force it. You don’t have to be “always on”! You could just get the garbage bags and bide your time till the next opportunity arises.

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Blondie, 5/28/24

I think it’s very telling that Dagwood doesn’t seem to particularly care about getting to work on time using this new futuristic technology; instead, he’s mostly interested in taunting his supposed friends after he beats them in a competition they didn’t even realize they were part of.

Rhymes With Orange, 5/28/24

You know you’re of A Certain Age when you see this cartoon and don’t really care about the flat stomach aspect but instead think about your creaky, increasingly hunched back and say “Would this work on my BACK? Yes, please, just do it, smoosh me out, squish me flatter, I’m BEGGING YOU”

Dick Tracy, 5/28/24

The newspaper comics are a fundamentally great medium because there are days when you don’t know you want a whole panel of some guy with a comically archaic mustache seen from a weird angle, but then you get it and you think, “Yes, this is what I wanted. Thank you for this.”