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Blondie, 6/5/24

The number one thing that makes me feel like an old person is my stiff right knee and hip, but number two, coming pretty close behind, is the fact that so many things, ranging from thoughtful essays to instruction manuals, that 10 years ago would’ve been written out as text now only exist in the form of YouTube videos. I don’t want to watch a video! I read very quickly and find videos that mostly consist of someone just talking to be annoying! Often I am in public and do not want to annoy everyone around me! Sometimes they’re good for real how-to instructional stuff but more often than not a written essay with some pictures would be just as good if not better and also would be easier to search through quickly to find the relevant bits. Anyway, my point is that I read today’s Blondie and immediately thought, “Finally, Blondie accurately depicts what young people are like for once — they all think you should learn everything from YouTube and it fucking sucks,” but then I instantly recoiled in horror. Is this what I’ve become? Someone who cheers when Blondie sticks it to the kids these days? My feeling of deep shame almost, but not quite, wiped all thoughts of how much I hate most internet video from my mind.

Intelligent Life, 6/5/24

I guess I haven’t talked about what Intelligent Life’s whole deal is in the few times I’ve posted it here, so: it’s whole deal is that it’s about a number of unpleasant people who are obsessed with “nerd” franchises (i.e., most of modern film and TV entertainment) in the most boring way possible. Anyway, today’s strip pissed me off because, yes, Meta’s use of user content for its dumb AI offerings is bad, and Emperor Palpatine is bad, but Emperor Palpatine never did anything like the real stuff Meta is doing that they’re talking about here. I saw those movies. He mostly did evil space wizard stuff and evil space politics stuff. He barely ever even used computers! Can we please be serious here.

Family Circus, 6/5/24

Without telling his wife, Big Daddy Keane has been taking Billy to one of those barbershops that hasn’t “gone woke” and starting obeying Big Government’s oppressive laws against trepanation, in an attempt reduce the internal pressure responsible for his eldest son’s grotesquely shaped head. The treatments are unpleasant, but they’re starting to show results!

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Mary Worth, 6/2/24

I know I’ve been harping for a while on “why is Wilbur so obsessed with his dead fish and not talking about his alive fish?” Earlier this week he claimed that, since Stellan was named after Estelle, his fishy demise truly brought home the fact that Wilbur and Estelle would never get back together, but I think today makes the real story clear: while Stellan was happy to listen to Wilbur natter on for hours about his pathetic love life, Willa would respond by simply facing the back of the tank in obvious and appropriate contempt. And you know what? Good for her.

Blondie, 6/2/24

I was going to go on a rant here about how legacy strips need to stop putting Boomer nostalgia into the mouths of comics characters who cannot be older than 50 or so, but then I saw the “Bratman and Robin” panel and my disgust at its laziness immediately purged all other irritations from my mind. “Robin” is just an actual robin, sitting on a giant bottle of mustard? No attempt at a pun or wordplay or anything? Get outta here with that shit, man.

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Gasoline Alley, 6/1/24

Uh oh, looks like the electricity is out all over Gasoline Alley! I guess electricity has decided, in the wake of the rejection of the proposed “Electric Acres” renaming, that it isn’t wanted there any more. And who can blame it? Tough luck, Walt! Enjoy drinking your precious gasoline, in the dark!

Blondie, 6/1/24

I’ve always found the ways shoes are drawn in Blondie weird and off-putting, but I don’t think I ever actually tried to imagine the way the feet underneath them look. Well, thanks to today’s strip, now I have, and I wish I hadn’t. I don’t care for it.

Dennis the Menace, 6/1/24

Hey, Dennis, buddy, if you don’t have a good bit of menace in the chamber, you shouldn’t force it. You don’t have to be “always on”! You could just get the garbage bags and bide your time till the next opportunity arises.