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Blondie, 12/19/23

Of the legacy comics characters out there, Blondie has a less expressive face than most — I think the word I’d use to describe it most of the time is “rictus” — but it seems clear that she’s pretty gobsmacked in the final panel, right? Like the scales have fallen from her eyes and she realizes what a bum her husband is. She works her fingers to the bone all day building a successful small business and has to cook for the biggest glutton in this nameless, soulless suburb, and now she finds out that every supposed slander her husband’s boss has laid out about him has been true all this time! And yet he still collects his fat, steady salary. The nerve! The absolute nerve!

Hi and Lois, 12/19/23

Speaking of facial expressions and suburban ennui, I like the emotional roller coaster Hi is on here. He already knew there wasn’t a bonus check in that box, and he thought had settled into the appropriate level of despair. But upon opening it, he discovered he was still capable of shock.

Family Circus, 12/19/23

I know that “smug” is Billy’s primary non-sullen facial expression and it usually isn’t appropriate, but it seems particularly inappropriate here. “Heh heh,” he seems to be thinking, “Santa loves the fact that I keep changing my mind and he’s had to retool my Christmas haul multipe times.” No he doesn’t, Billy! Nobody would like that!

Shoe, 12/19/23

Excited to see that Roz has transcended the goggle eyes of horror and has achieved the bulging eyes of murderous rage. Well deserved, too! Shoe, she just wanted your expertise as the editor of a failing newspaper to help her price her new entry into the competitive pre-made frozen meal market! There’s no reason to be a dick about it!

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Marvin, 12/7/23

Man, if you’re embarrassed about people (and dogs?) seeing the picture of you in the hat why are you … wearing the hat outside where all these other dogs can see you? I feel like this week’s Marvin is really getting into something very heady about the sign and the signified and I am not high enough to follow it.

Shoe, 12/7/23

I appreciate the fact that today’s Shoe goes out of its way to make sure we know these guys are drinking and emotionally opening up to one another right next to the bathroom. Not sure if we’re supposed to think of them as old dudes with bladder control problems or birds with cloacae, but either way they conveniently have only a few steps to cover when nature calls.

Blondie, 12/7/23

Dagwood isn’t upset that Elmo used the newfangled word “influencer”; it’s just that he can’t realistically have been born before about 1969 and is very mad Elmo thinks Bob Hope and Bing Crosby are from “his day”.

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It’s Sunday, folks, the day when newspaper comics include a couple of panels that can be excised based on the vagaries of print layouts. Taken in isolation, these “throwaway” panels can be kind of fun!

Panels from Blondie, 12/3/23

Here’s the panels from today’s Blondie, for instance! It sounds like they’re discussing the possibility of doing some wife swapping, but actually this just leads into a dumb bit about Christmas decorations.

Panels from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/3/23

And here’s the panels from Snuffy Smith! Snuffy looks like he’s going to make sweet love to that radio. In fact, he’s going to listen to horse racing with some horses, which, considering how many horses die as part of the horse racing industry, is pretty grim.

Panels from Dennis the Menace, 12/3/23

On Sundays Dennis the Menace uses its throwaway panel space to do a title block, which is fine, except in this case it seems to be drawn by someone who thinks boy band members wear suits and ties, which isn’t fine at all. Anyway, the main strip is about how Mr. Wilson hates Dennis but his wife forces him to endure the child’s company.

Mary Worth, 12/3/23

For Mary Worth we need the full strip, though, so we can see that Keith and Kitty’s big smooch is interrupted by some cruel soul razzing them! I suppose the razzer is Sonia, whose anti-authoritarian streak is so strong that she calls her own mother by her first name, but it would be very funny if it were just some random acquaintance of Kitty making fun of Keith’s cartoonish physique for no good reason.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/3/23

Oh come on! Are you going to tell me that the whole Mirakle Method was actually stolen wholesale from this old guy, somehow? C’mon! The Method was Rene’s one accidental success! It really worked on at least one guy! You’ve got to give him this! He needs this!

Rhymes With Orange, 12/2/23

Sorry I got so worked up there, I just really care about my boy Rene. Anyway, here’s a comic strip about teen starfish having sex!