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Gil Thorp, 10/23/08

Wow, it looks like our hero the ’Czak may be Gil Thorp’s most introspective and self-aware character in recent memory. Admittedly, given the parade of goofy, grinning morons who populate this strip, who refuse to turn their gaze inward even when they’re perpetrating grievous self-harm, this is like calling Jeff “the Gil Thorp character least afflicted with mutant-deformed-hand-itis in recent memory”; still, there’s something sad and appealing about his realization that his days as a goofy, grinning moron, getting up to vaguely homoerotic hijinks in the locker room, are numbered.

One of the things I actually unironically like about this strip are the occasional return visits from Milford alums — a couple of years ago, Vanilla Ice lookalike Von blew back into town to help dry out Marty Moon and romance high school girls — so I’m hoping that a few years down the road we get to see glimpses of Jeff sitting around the dorms at his third-tier state university, drinking heavily and listening to Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days” and calling angrily in to Marty Moon’s public access TV show. He’s clearly on the road to gloom already, as not even Trisha Jones’ navel in panel one, nor her blatant kissy face in panel three, can pull him out of his pit of preemptive despair.

Dick Tracy, 10/23/08

Dick Tracy is getting slightly artsier when it comes to its gratuitous violence. Sure, it could have just shown us that hapless Genesis Corporation employee being beaten to death by a giant robot while Braces laughed maniacally, but I like the fact that we’re just shown the aftermath, and left to wonder how exactly the broken window figured into the scene of carnage that we just missed.

Blondie, 10/23/08

Here, let me translate today’s Blondie for you. “Those Dagwood Sandwich Shop franchises aren’t extracting as much money from this zombie comic brand as I might like. If those stupid Peanuts kids can sell insurance, then I don’t see why this crap can’t sell … pretty much anything anyone would pay for. USE ME, CORPORATE AMERICA! I WILL DANCE TO YOUR TUNE! I, DAGWOOD BUMSTEAD, AM YOUR WHORE!”

Spider-Man, 10/23/08

Behold, the power and majesty of … NAP MAN!!! If only there were something that could keep Peter Parker awake. You know, like the anticipation of fighting a super-powered nemesis and clearing his good name, or a television set.

Apartment 3-G, 10/23/08

…aaaaand another barely disguised sexual advance from Tommie goes completely ignored.

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Slylock Fox, 10/20/08

Dirty Dog is wearing some kind of anteater costumer that compresses his jaw forward and thrusts his sore tooth into an incredibly unnatural position, which ought by rights to be punishment enough for his bank-robbing ways.

I was about to remark that it seems strange that he would bite somebody or something during a bank robbery, but he is, after all, a dog. He probably rolled around in his own poop while he was at it.

Blondie, 10/20/08

Hey everyone, guess what the Word That We’re Going To Repeat And Emphasize Over And Over Again For No Good Reason Until It Totally Creeps You Out is?

Hi and Lois, 10/20/08

Hi and Lois were on drugs at that party, just like they are right now.

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Crock, 10/19/08

I’m not sure which thought is more disturbing: that this is some sort of metaphor for pubic hair depilation, or that it’s a straightforward and genuinely insane comic about cactuses having sex.

Family Circus, 10/19/08

In order to keep Jeffy pure, his parents are sheltering him from troubling concepts such as “genitals.”

Slylock Fox, 10/19/08

Oh, Cassandra, isn’t trying to worm your way out of speeding tickets kind of beneath you? For that matter, isn’t stopping speeders kind of beneath the chief of police? Look, just show some leg, thus disabling the part of Chief Mutt’s brain that can do math, and we can all forget that any of this ever happened.

Panel from Blondie, 10/19/08

This is way more than I ever wanted to know about Mr. Dithers’ personal life.