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Funky Winkerbean, 5/13/08

If I’m remembering correctly, the Tragically Ironic Hearing Loss storyline that led to Harry Dinkle’s retirement took place before the decade-long timejump. Since his constant mopey presence around the house has been driving his wife up the wall since day one, she’s no doubt well and truly insane by now. This may explain why she’s harassing a school board official about her personal problems, or why she feels a need to refer to her husband by his full name, including middle initial, in casual conversation. As Harriet’s already admitted that she’s crazy, I hope the school board president is desperately pressing the panic button under his desk, before she turns violent.

Mark Trail, 5/13/08

We all know that Mark Trail only cares about humans to the extent that they threaten wildlife habitat or get punched by Mark, but even by the standards of this strip the handling of little Madeline’s “condition” is shockingly bonkers. Has anyone involved in the production of this strip encountered the modern medical system in any way, shape, or form? What the hell kind of doctor looks at a comatose little girl, scratches his chin thoughtfully, and then writes PUPPY half-legibly on his prescription pad? The kind that gets generous kickbacks from the American Kennel Club, that’s what kind.

Blondie, 5/13/08

Some clever Photoshopper needs to change the dialog in this strip so that Elmo and his towheaded little friend are simply demanding money from Dagwood and threatening to beat his legs with that baseball bat if he doesn’t comply. It would explain his typical but still odd lope in the third panel.

Family Circus, 5/13/08

“But then, most paper money has been up people’s noses, so it’s kind of a mixed bag.”

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Spider-Man, 4/21/08

Behold … the VULTURE! The latest in the rogue’s gallery of sinister, inhuman supervillains to plague the newspaper strip version of Spider-Man, the Vulture terrifies us with his powers … or, um, menacing costume … uh, actually, he just appears to be some ordinary dude in jail mumbling vague threats of vengeance. Since this is Spider-Man, the prison guard is threatening him with the ultimate act of torture: the withdrawal of television privileges.

Blondie, 4/21/08

Attention Amalgamated Blondie Humor Industries LLC: if you are going to do a close-up on one of your characters, as you do in panel three here, please actually draw the character in close-up, rather than just increasing the scale of their face in Photoshop. Otherwise it looks strange and disturbing.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/21/08

Any public official will tell you that there comes a time in a town hall meeting when the thread is simply lost, never to be found again. Rex Morgan, M.D.’s MRSA meeting has hit that point, as angry townsfolk begin to demand that the county health commission bring their loved ones back from the dead.

Pluggers, 4/21/08

Pluggers have no idea what an enormous pain in the ass they are to everyone around them.

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Funky Winkerbean, 4/19/08

Ha ha! It’s funny because Funky looks volcanically angry! He’s no doubt going to physically assault his stepson! It’s wacky!

I know that every generation throughout history has thought that the next generation coming up represents the end of civilization as we know it, and yet civilization continues not to end. Still, I live only a few blocks from the main Johns Hopkins undergraduate campus, so my neighborhood is somewhat lousy with the youth of today, and I am continually appalled by the social situations in which they think it’s acceptable to wear their pajama bottoms — and I’m someone who works at home and wears pajama bottoms pretty much all day. Maybe someday I’ll feel comfortable wearing them to the store, like the kids do, but somehow I doubt it. But I generally take an attitude of wry amusement about it, and don’t, say, glower like I’m about to punch someone in the throat.

Family Circus, 4/19/08

For once, I agree with Jeffy. Life in the Keane Kompound could only be made more entertaining if hungry, hungry zoo animals were set loose there.

Blondie, 4/19/08

Try to visualize exactly how that towel is wrapped around Dagwood’s waist. Now try to tell me that Mr. Dithers isn’t looking at Dagwood’s junk.