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Marvin, 8/20/23

You well know that I do not consider the syndicated comic strip Marvin to be the pinnacle of sequential art, but today’s strip is even more shambolic than usual, its narrative completely falling apart upon the slightest examination. Why is Jeff’s work frenemy whose name you cannot make me retain or look up hanging out at his house, on a weekend, and why are they just standing around the living room while Jeff passive aggressively dicks around on his phone? Why has not-Jeff chosen to set up his “hilarious” prank by posing a series of seemingly earnest questions? Why would you buy a bunch of toilet paper on eBay, of all places? And why isn’t Marvin even here? Damn it, if you’re going to do a toilet paper joke in the comic strip Marvin, then Marvin (the character) should be involved.

Blondie, 8/20/23

This one drives me crazy for one specific reason, which is that Dithers mentions that he used the company 3-D printer to make his mini-Dithers homunculus. The whole scenario is pleasantly absurd without that fact, please do not make think about the mechanics of producing this thing or the business reasons why DithersCo might own a 3-D printer.

Dennis the Menace, 8/20/23

This one I have no complaints about. Is there anything more menacing than a child who needs more love and attention than you’re equipped to provide? Extremely dark, no notes.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/18/23

Not to be an old guy waxing rhapsodic about the past, but remember when Mud used to be fun? When every one of his word balloons was in bold italics, implying that he was yelling all the time? Well, that Mud Mountain era, from his wacky entrance to his iconic exit, didn’t even last five weeks. I have a sinking feeling that we’re going to be stuck with his apology tour for a lot longer than that.

Blondie, 8/18/23

Hmm, I was kind of hoping this trip would clue us in to the industry that DithersCo is currently in, but no such luck, I guess. I think I can tell from some of the faces here that his employees were also hoping to find out. Oh, well, I guess it’s not going to nag at them much longer, once a private equity firm buys the place, saddles it with debt, and fires everyone after declaring bankruptcy!

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Mark Trail, 8/16/23

Look, I’m the first to admit that I’m an old person now, and if I accidentally clicked onto anyone doing a video livestream on any social media site or app, I would immediately and frantically try to turn said livestream off, and, if I couldn’t achieve that within approximately five seconds, would throw whatever device I was using into the sea. So the idea that a 500-follower account could reach more people by doing a live feed seems off to me, but since this is nu-look Mark Trail, it’s possible that Mark has a better grasp on social media than I do, which, I don’t think I have to say, is a very uncomfortable position to be in. Anyway, Marks père et fils are on the run for various crimes, including violence against law enforcement (and not for the first time!) so it’s possible this live stream will end in Mark’s arrest or summary execution, and I guess that could drive up viewership.

Blondie, 8/16/23

Sorry, I can’t spend any energy on the ostensible punchline here because I’m too fixated on what’s in the mysterious box Dagwood is purchasing that has this pharmacist so unsettled. Is it some advanced ultra-enema system that completely cleanses your GI tract of all sandwich matter so that you can immediately go in for another massive sandwich? Sir, your store is the one carrying it, so maybe you shouldn’t be so judgemental.

Mary Worth, 8/15/23

You notice how ripped Jeff’s arms are these days? Do you remember how just a few years ago he was an old man facing mobility challenges but now he simply can’t wait to follow up dinner with a vigorous walk? I don’t want to say that he’s using his trusted position at the Charterstone hospital to steal enyouthening child blood, but it would explain a lot.

Judge Parker, 8/15/23

OH MY GOD, IT’S … actually, I have no idea who that is. Is it April’s … mom? April had a mom, who was some kind of undefined but menacing spy lady, right? And Sam being friends with her son-in-law is a “close connection,” sort of? OK, it’s April’s mom, until further notice.