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Blondie, 3/8/23

I’m intrigued here by the transition from light to dark between panels two and three — how much time has elapsed, and what conversation, if any, filled it? I’d like to believe that Blondie lay there in silence as Dagwood nattered on about his fantasy fashion empire, only to let loose this sick burn as she was dozing off, just in time to ruin her husband’s whole night.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/8/23

I recently learned that only a few specialized cells actually survive the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly, with the entire rest of its body dissolved into goo within the cocoon to serve as food for the growing adult insect. Anyway, just in case you thought you had handle on the kind of awful body horror that would be required to effect Tater’s nightmare vision in reality, I’m here to tell you that you really don’t, actually.

Shoe, 3/8/23

“It was to protect them from the sun and the rain, as well as from all the dust the wagon kicked up as it moved over the plains. They may have lived in olden days, but they were no dummies!”

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Slylock Fox, 2/25/23

I have sadly accepted that we Slylock readers can never see past the horizon of whatever Event separates our human world from Slylock’s animal-ruled kingdom, but every once in a while we get a glimpse of a time quite close to it. Take today’s strip, for example. Now, this isn’t in the first heady post-revolutionary days, when statues of human heroes were torn down in spontaneous displays of victorious rage in front of cheering animal crowds. No, this is from the ensuing weeks or months, when those lesser H. sapiens culture heroes were methodically wiped from public spaces by the employees of the new regime. To these two dogs, the work has almost become routine at this point, but you have to imagine it was still satisfying.

Blondie, 2/25/23

OK, so … does Dagwood, and/or anyone involved in the production of the venerable syndicated newspaper comic strip Blondie, know what “an offer he can’t refuse” means in The Godfather, the movie this classic line is from? It means you get someone to do what you want by threatening them with physical violence. In the movie, Don Corleone strongarms a Hollywood proudcer to cast his godson in a movie by cutting off his beloved horse’s head and putting it in the producer’s bed. So, in this scenario, Dagwood is upset that this car salesman isn’t going to use Daisy’s brutal murder and mutilation to convince him that he has no choice but to buy a BMW M8 coupe for considerably more than its $134,000 MSRP, I guess? I know Dagwood only watches westerns, but I feel like someone needs to tell him he’s treading into dangerous territory here.

Shoe and Zits, 2/25/23

Are taxes the mechanism by which a democratic society pools its wealth in order to provide public services? Or are they a literal crime imposed on sovereign citizens by tyrants? Today’s comics are here to bring you both sides of the story!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Blondie, 2/14/23

One strip you could write off, but two? That’s a trend. Folks, if you didn’t get your beloved a slab of heart-shaped meat for Valentine’s Day this year, you need to think about what you did wrong and get ahead of the game in planning a meat-tastic 2/14/24. (Note: please only use a cut of meat shaped like a cartoon heart, not an actual animal or human heart, as that would be disgusting.)

Gil Thorp, 2/14/23

Speaking of romance, we last saw the Thorps holding onto their marriage for dear life despite obstacles like Mimi’s flirtatious golf coach. This Valentine’s Day, they’re going to revive their relationship the only way they know how: by trying to have sex as airliners come screaming in for a landing directly above them every four to nine minutes.

Beetle Bailey, 2/14/23

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny that Otto doesn’t want to smell Beetle’s socks, but I do want to point that there are generally only two circumstances where we have dogs try to figure out where people are, and those are “on the run from the law” and “probably dead.”

Mary Worth, 2/14/23

“I’m shopping! Just like you! Yep, exchanging money for goods and services sure is the name of the game, here in America!”