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Mary Worth, 2/14/22

Toby story confirmed! Toby story about her working as a community college art teacher confirmed! I am very excited about the delights in store for us — do Toby’s students respect her? I feel fairly confident that they do not, and I dearly hope that the Etsy store where she sells her terrible figurines was discovered by everyone in her class by the end of the first week.

Blondie, 2/14/22

I dunno, man, I realize there’s a tradition of giving your romantic partner, like, sexy underwear for Valentine’s Day, but I feel like “Here’s something that feeds into my very specific fetish and it’s my Valentine’s gift to you” doesn’t seem quite right. I mean, I guess it’s working for these two crazy kids though? Sorry, Cookie and Alexander! Sorry they’re doing it right there in the living room!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/14/22

“My mistake. The thing is, I don’t want to talk to you, but if I had realized that my choices were either talking to you in person or talking to you on the phone, I definitely would’ve picked the phone.”

Gasoline Alley, 2/14/22

“We will celebrate it together, my dear! Have you seen my dad? That’s our future! We’re going to live forever, growing more wizened and aged, but never dying! We’re trapped in an eternal hell!”

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Blondie, 2/10/22

One thing that Blondie absolutely loves doing is to mine broadly appealing cultural events like “the Big Game” for laughs in the most generic way possible, without getting into specifics like what team Dagwood roots for or violating sacred NFL trademarks. Anyway, it’s really too bad that so much of the joke-space of today’s strip is dedicated to that sort of weaksauce bullshit, because I am frankly quite intrigued by the way Dagwood has clearly become extremely and erotically fixated on the forbidden chili in the final panel.

Gil Thorp, 2/10/22

Gil Thorp has somehow made its teen gambling plot, in which Pranit is using his brother’s sportsduke dot com account to accidentally become a bookie, boring, so the girl’s plot is going to have to veer into more traditional troubled youth territory. Are you telling me that some high school seniors at a party might’ve had a third of a can of hard seltzer apiece? Watch out, everybody, we got a new Euphoria on the funny pages today!

Dennis the Menace, 2/10/22

Honestly, you have to really admire that the Mitchells are so dedicated to high culture that they keep coming to this fancy restaurant with a black tie dress code even though Dennis ruins the experience so consistently that the wait staff knows their name. Dennis is never going to be snooty like you, Henry! It’s just not going to happen!

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Daddy Daze, 2/6/22

It’s important to occasionally reflect on whether your actions are causing harm to others, even if that isn’t your intention or motivation. For instance, today’s Daddy Daze prompted me to consider: does the fact that I always refer to the father character in this strip as “the Daddy Daze daddy” and have never bothered to remember or research whether he has some actual name add to his sense that he’s losing his identity as part of the parenting process? In my defense, the Daddy Daze baby does have a name that is not uncommonly given in the strip, but I refuse to use it and only refer to him as “the Daddy Daze baby,” so I feel like overall I’m just being tough but fair.

Blondie, 2/6/22

“He’s having a real hard time of it, and doesn’t know where he is or where he’s going. Ha ha, he’s passed out face first into the snow! Guess I’m never going to have to return all those tools now!”