Blondie, 8/19/20
ALERT ALERT THE SYNDICATED NEWSPAPER COMIC STRIP BLONDIE HAS BECOME AWARE OF THE CONCEPT OF “INFLUCENCERS,” THREAT LEVEL ALPHA, REPEAT, THREAT LEVEL ALPHA
Beetle Bailey, 8/19/20
ALERT ALERT BEETLE BAILEY’S “MISS BUXLEY WEDNESDAY” HAS BECOME DANGEROUSLY HORNY
Curtis, 8/19/20
ALERT ALERT CURTIS’S FACE IS BECOMING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE REPEAT DANGEROUSLY CLOSE ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT
Blondie, 8/15/20
Honestly, what exactly is the social context for the first two panels of this strip? Herb and Dagwood are eating out together, decked out in their pastel polos, at someplace fancy enough to have white tablecloths and high prices. What’s really eerie to me, honestly, is how completely spotless that tablecloth is. Maybe I’m a slob but that seems kind of unusual, post-meal, yes? Maybe Dagwood, driven by his omnipresent, insatiable hunger, sucked every last molecule of food out of the fibers of the tablecloth once he had licked his plate clean, literally. You can see why Herb might be reluctant to pay in that situation.
The Lockhorns, 8/15/20
It’s of course common to see Leroy and Loretta using their occasional guests as props in their sick psychodrama, which explains why said guests never visit more than once. Today seems to be breaking a new frontier, however, in that Leroy and Loretta are actually opening up emotionally to their friends about how troubled their marriage is, maybe in hopes of getting some guidance on how to turn things around. (These people will also not visit more than once.)
Shoe, 8/15/20
“Get it? Sheltering? Sweltering? Anyway, you don’t seem to be sweating so it’s possible I’m just running a high fever, but I got bored of staying at home so whatever. You don’t mind if I breathe all over you, do you?”
Blondie, 8/12/20
It’s both incredibly sad and entirely predictable that Mr. Dithers, in a moment of madness, gave Dagwood the power to authorize any spending he wanted out of company coffers, and instead of immediately draining every DithCo account dry and disappearing to whatever tropical island nation without an extradition treaty with the US has the best sandwiches, he instead bought a panini press for the breakroom. Truly pathetic.
Mark Trail, 8/12/20
Meanwhile, this Mark Trail rerun is here to cement Mark’s place as the most level-headed man on the comics page. Did Mark get nominated for a major award? He’s grateful not for the glory or recognition, but that his work has touched readers around the world. Is he excited about traveling to New York for the ceremony? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, there are a lot of other great nominees, so he’ll be staying in Lost Forest until he gets word that he won, thanks. Of course, by that time he’ll be trapped at the Trail compound because the only road out has been blocked by beaver-felled trees, but there’s no way he could know that now.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/12/20
Sure, the coronavirus epidemic has killed hundreds of thousands of people and disrupted the world economy in unprecedented ways, but look on the bright side: it’s provided a great excuse for Rex to not have to share a bedroom with his wife!