Archive: Blondie

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Blondie, 7/4/20

There’s been an uptick in Alexa jokes in the comics lately, which I assume can be chalked up to the fact that digital assistants are now common enough to be more or less universally familiar, but novel enough to still be a little strange, basically exactly where iPods were in 2006. Still, I do always wonder about the possibility of paid product placement. Amazon is one of the most powerful and wealthy corporations in the history of the human race, and while a lot of people would argue about whether it’s possible to have too much money, I think we could agree that having so much money that you can spare some on advertising in Blondie is a bad sign.

Mark Trail, 7/4/20

Hey, remember a few years back when Mark adamantly defended magazine writing as “a good career for me to provide for my family?” Well, fuck that noise, he’s got a chance to sell out to Hollywood and he’s taking it.

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Blondie, 7/1/20

Today is a day when we get a particularly good look at Dagwood’s flesh-turtlenecky, which is a thing I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about over the years, like wondering if Dagwood has skinned another human being and turned their flesh into a ritual garment, or if this is a Portrait of Dorian Gray situation except instead of a painting aging it’s Dagwood’s torso that becomes increasingly wrinkled and leathery while his face and arms remain smooth and youthful. Anyway, the whole conversation in today’s strip seems really unlikely — why wouldn’t Dagwood say the actual name of the sportscaster he supposedly resembles, for one thing — and it seems more realistic to me to imagine that what’s really bothering him is that someone asked him “Hey, what’s up with your fuckin’ neck, man?”

Funky Winkerbean, 7/1/20

“Also, I’m not really retired! I mean, people say I am but I keep showing up to work so I must not be? So I don’t think I’m the right guy to answer this question for you.”

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Blondie, 6/23/20

Man, what’s your favorite facial expression in today’s Blondie? Is it Dagwood in panel two, stone-cold going nuts that his supplier has found another way to escalate the intensity of his food consumption, to help him keep chasing that ever-elusive high? Or is it the firefighter in panel three, who needs the overtime he’s getting working this job but can’t help but feel that his noble profession is being insulted and degraded?

Hi and Lois, 6/23/20

Congratulations to Hi and Lois, which has managed to find the pettiest gripe possible to base on a daily strip on. Confidential to the rest of the newspaper comics industry: the gauntlet has been thrown down, time to up your game!