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Gasoline Alley, 3/24/11

I can’t be bothered to update you on the boring doings in Gasoline Alley — they’ve involved genealogical research and the American Revolutionary War, and I actually find both of those topics interesting, or at least I did until this strip got its hands on them. Apparently, though, the last several weeks have been far too thrilling for this strip’s target 80-and-up demographic, so in order to soothe those folks, we’ve slowed down a bit and now some guy in a suit is telling extremely mild jokes to Clovia. Still, to judge by her shell-shocked expression in the final panel, you’d think he’d been giving her the graphic details of the time he spent in the killing fields of Cambodia. That “LOL” is not some sad attempt at Internet-speak, but rather an incoherent gurgle of horror. Oh, God, the puns! Please, no more puns!

Crankshaft, 3/24/11

Ha ha, look at that knowing glance Crankshaft’s pals are exchanging. After all these years, could this finally be the massive heart attack they’ve been praying for?

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Crock, 3/20/11

One way to tell when something has been a well-understood facet of mainstream world culture for at least a year or so is that weird, fumbling, semi-coherent references to it start appearing in legacy comic strips. One thing I find interesting about both this reference to WikiLeaks and the one that appeared a a couple months ago in Marvin (beaten to the punch by Marvin! the shame!) is that the word in both cases is rendered in both small and capital letters, in contrast with the standard all-caps orthography. This just draws attention to the word in a sort of “Hey, look at us, bein’ topical!” sense, with a negative effect on the overall humorousness of the strip (though of course even without the typeface issues that, “humorousness” could only be detected with the most delicate scientific instruments). It’s as if the authors, barely understanding who or what a “WikiLeaks” might be, are convinced that the internal capitalization is crucial to the word’s totemic power and must be preserved at all costs, when in fact it’s just an irritating legacy that’s trickled down from late ’90s branding practices in the high tech industry.

Speaking of trickling down, though, while Crock lost to Marvin in the “making a stupid joke about WikiLeaks” race, at least Crock’s stupid joke isn’t about pissing oneself.

Panels from Crankshaft, 3/20/11

Ha ha, just another day in the Funkyverse! “I experienced a brief moment of triumph! But now the physical and emotional agony that is my life has come to the fore once again. You can’t win your way out of suffering!”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/17/11

Lureen is extremely depressed, just crying and crying for no reason she or anyone else can name. Do you find that funny, Loweezy? Apparently you do! Apparently you find it hilarious, you monster.

Crankshaft, 3/17/11

Actually, ‘shaft, I think he understands the motivational power that the the terror of violence instills just fine! On the other hand, I’m a little a disappointed that you didn’t come up with some terrible pun while commenting on this awful scene of abuse.

Crock, 3/17/11

I’m pretty sure this is the first time that a summary execution has been even hinted at in the comics pages.

Blondie, 3/17/11

You probably think that this is the cheeriest cartoon out of this batch, but Mr. Dithers knows what a shillelagh is for and how to use it. Enjoy your St. Patrick’s Day, everybody!