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Click the banner to contribute and receive a Commemorative Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Band! Details here.

The geese are coming home to roost! Today is the last day of the Fall Fundraiser. Bands will still be available for late or mailed donations, but this is the final reminder. If you’ve already contributed, thank you — your band is on its way. And if you haven’t yet, consider what the comics would be like without the unique perspective The Comics Curmudgeon offers every day. Now isn’t that worth a couple bucks? You bet! And seriously, do you really want to spend the rest of your entire life without a Mark Trail-themed Bible Bird Band?

Marmaduke, 10/14/11

Eva, wistful in her drindl, dreams of a second chance for the Thousand-Year Reich.

Crankshaft, 10/14/11

At the risk of horning in on Mary Worth territory, here’s a page from Uncle Lumpy’s Guide for the Young in Love:

Proposals:

• Proposals must be made in person, or by telephone or video chat only if the matter is urgent and a face-to-face meeting is impossible. Billboards, faxes, scoreboards, and above all letters are unacceptable means of soliciting a lifelong commitment — there is simply too much opportunity for error or misunderstanding, and no chance to correct such quickly when they occur.
• The person who makes a proposal is within his or her rights to demand an answer, which must also be made in person as above. “Yes” and “No” are the traditional alternatives, although “I need to think about it”, “Why can’t we just go on like this?”, and “Oh, baby, oh, oh, oh!” are acceptable variants of the latter.
• As a corollary to the above, under no circumstances should “No answer” be accepted by either party as the basis for ending a desired relationship.

Eugene, Lucy — this is not romantic, touching, or poignant. It is stupid, and you two deserve exactly what you got.

Spider-Man, 10/14/11

You know, it occurs to me that I’ve neglected Spider-Man this week. It felt great, and I’m gonna keep it up.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/14/11

Loweezy is disappointed with her copy of Lisa’s Story: the Other Shoe: why hasn’t anybody shot Les yet, and what in tarnation are these “shoe” things, anyway?

Fundraiser update

Bible Bird Bands are now arriving by the gaggle — and that’s a lot! Don’t delay: make a generous donation of any amount, and get your very own. And when you receive it, don’t forget to send Josh a picture at bio@jfruh.com. And to faithful readers throughout South America, Africa, and Asia — time to step up, folks:

GOOSETRAX (full details and Privacy Policy here.)

Comics Curmudgeon Bible Birds are winging their way to faithful readers worldwide!

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 5

Mark Trail — 5/14, 11/18, 11/21, 12/14, and 12/23/09

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s exciting conclusion of Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Crankshaft, 10/9/11

Lucy McKenzie died in a nursing home in 2009, demented and unaware that her jealous vicious harpy sister Lillian had stolen and concealed a letter from her beau Eugene proposing marriage just before he shipped out for WWII. Lucy came back this year to haunt Lillian into taking her to the ruins of the Wisteria Ballroom so she could hook up again with Eugene, as we see here. Aww.

But hey waitaminute. If Lucy and Eugene are both dead, why not just hook up on the Other Side and save Lucy the busfare back? To hear Eugene, it’s pretty damn sweet over there, what with the eternal flowers ‘n’ stuff. And as far as we know, Eugene’s not dead — we saw him in one of those then-and-now flashbacky things back in March, taking flowers to Lucy’s grave. So as long as Lucy’s in the neighborhood, why doesn’t she drop by Eugene’s for a quick haunt-and-cuddle instead of wasting time on this sepia imposter?

Comics are hard.

Sally Forth, 10/9/11

Panel-four Ted embraces the Dark Side, or makes his lucha libre début. You never know with this guy.

Six Chix, 10/9/11

Pluggers: Origins

Slylock Fox (panel), 10/9/11

Weirdly and his accomplice have been using their transporter to loot marijuana dispensaries. That is one stoned monkey.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Spider-Man, 9/2/11

Since we last met our heroic caped webbed crusader, beloved super-spouse MJ has decided to get in on the petulant whining that appears to be her husband’s main joy in life, taking as her theme the Bugle reporter whose refusal to condemn Spider-Man has led to a rather transparent spider-crush on Peter’s part. However, it appears that Serra (is this how the kids are spelling “Sarah” these days? ugh, I hate the future) has traded in her mild affection towards the superhero for journalistic glory; in panel two, we see that J. Jonah Jameson has given her bylines and photo credits at almost the same font size as the banner headline, and all she had to do was fall in line with the publication’s strident anti-Spider-Man stance.

Panel one is notable in that the artist actually takes seriously the notion that MJ is toddling around the apartment wearing spiked heels and skin-tight capri pants, and took the time contemplate how a person so dressed might bend down to pick something up off the floor. (The answer: very carefully.)

Crankshaft, 9/2/11

So, is … is that other lady all right? The one who got hit in the head, with the ball? Enh, never mind her, let’s all just bask smugly in some important lessons about sportsmanship.

Six Chix, 9/2/11

Ho ho, it appears that this woman’s mafioso lover has murdered each of her six husbands in turn! How delightfully droll! We can all relate to this hilHOLY CRAP THAT HAND ON HER SHOULDER ISN’T ATTACHED TO ANYTHING AHHH AHHH AHHH