Archive: Crankshaft

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Apartment 3-G, 1/3/08

The submissive dialog in panel one of this strip seems to indicate that Eric has at last perfected his greatest creation: the Margo-bot 4000, an automaton with all of the external characteristics of a Margo but none of the sass or lip. Why one would want a Margo with no sass or lip is, of course, a puzzle, which may explain why the sexy cyberfemale is already starting in with the backtalk by panel three; surely the Margo-bot would be programmed to at least simulate the real thing’s essential hostility. Presumably the Margo-bot, imbued with these fundamentally conflicting impulses, will, like 2001: A Space Odyssey’s HAL, eventually go on a killing rampage, probably joined in the bloodbath by the actual Margo.

Crankshaft, 1/3/08

You know, Crankshaft often consists of this sort of sub-cute Family Circus-style punnery. But unlike the grinning morons of the Family Circus, the Crankshafters usually look angry or upset as they deliver their little verbal jests, today’s panel three being a prime example. “Just as annoying as the Family Circus, but so much grimmer”: That was the Crankshaft elevator pitch right there. I can’t deny that I too would have given it the green light.

Pluggers, 1/3/08

There are two little words I find confusing in today’s Pluggers, and they are “-in” and “-law”. Why wouldn’t this have worked just as well with the dog-man’s son (or daughter, for that matter) being the newly minted pentuagenarian? Is the joke perhaps that the son-in-law is significantly older than the daughter? Are you a plugger if you married off your 15-year-old daughter to one of your peers to consolidate both families’ land holdings?

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Mary Worth, 12/20/07

Sadly, rules about depicting animal violence prevent us from seeing the bloody glory of this little-dog-on-littler-dog battle, but it’s obvious that Chester won, since his Margo Magee lookalike owner had to fish him out of the fighting pit. The motion lines in panel one also make it look like Mary just backhanded her nemesis in the back of the head for good measure. But for my money the greatest thing about this comic is the wordless exclamation point Mary is emitting in the second panel. It’s clear that nobody has told Mary that anything was her fault, ever. Watch out, fur-collared-coat lady! Mary got a bunch of her friends together to help her talk a guy into suicide once, and his crimes were clearly nothing compared to you attempting to cast blame on the Queen of Charterstone.

Marmaduke, 12/20/07

Marmaduke’s troubling slide into insanity accelerates. Never mind the fact that if Marmaduke wasn’t sitting, he’d just be running around and destroying things, and possibly humping his owner’s hapless guest; his sitting would probably be less intrusive if the various pieces of furniture in the living room were, you know, more than eight inches apart.

Crankshaft, 12/20/07

I’m always kind of interested in the flashback scenes in Crankshaft. This woman is (if I have the family relationships right, which I’m still not 100 percent sure that I do) the ’Shaft’s daughter, so it’s intriguing to see the man’s family when he was younger and maybe not so cranky and HOLY GOD WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT THING IN FRONT OF THE LITTLE GIRL’S FACE IN THE THIRD PANEL WHERE THE HELL IS HER MOM SHOPPING FOR ORNAMENTS HOLY CRAP!

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Slylock Fox, 12/9/07

Oh, Cassandra! Your attempts to snare Slylock’s heart grow ever more transparent — and ever more pathetic. “Accidentally” leaving the heel of your shoe behind? Come on. Staring brightly ahead as you wear that prim little pastel outfit isn’t going to fool anyone.

Getting a lineup together in world shared by many kinds of sentient animal life isn’t easy, but the crew assembled by Officer Duck today is particularly motley. The two creatures of indeterminate species on either side of Cassandra look like they’re hoping that this will be their big chance to break into movies, or at least reality TV. If I were Slylock, I’d start looking into the background of the elephant lady at the far right — she looks guilty as hell, and presumably has got some kind of home counterfeiting business or meth lab set up back at her trailer. The pink-haired bunny, meanwhile, is way, way too stoned to care.

(If you wish Cassandra would “steal some files” from your “office”, you obviously need some Bob Weber Jr.-designed Cassandra Cat gear from the Comics Curmudgeon store!)

Crankshaft, 12/9/07

You might chalk this up as a garden-variety generation gap comic, but with young chinbeard and his sister watching their parents turn into their grandparents and worrying about turning into their parents in turn. But recall that the grandparents in question are rageaholic Crankshaft and the somehow even more loathsome Ukrainian hate machine. The kids probably thought that they’d at last be free once their grandparents kick off, but now are worried about enduring their post-transformation parents. Junior is right to look so terrified.

Family Circus, 12/9/07

Note the bit that I’ve highlighted. Billy is clearly in the “Anyone but Obama” camp for the 2008 elections.

Panels from Apartment 3-G, 12/9/07

Yeah, osmosis! Osmosis and time travel.

(Yes, I know there’s a neo-swing scene that’s alive and well today in New York and elsewhere — but the kids today out doing the Lindy Hop tend to be young hipsters like these. Tommie and Gary are soooo very much not hipsters; and I don’t care how old they’re supposed to be, I refuse to even qualify them as “young”.)

Panel from Shoe, 12/9/07

It’s not like I’m in love with the word “barmaid”, exactly; I just think “bartenderness” sounds kind of creepy. “Come on, baby, I’ve been lookin’ at you all night; show me a little bartenderness.”

Site meta-note: I’ve decided that I’m going to start doing the comment of the week/ad love posts on Monday instead of Sundays. I often don’t even get to Saturday’s comics until Sunday, and doing the Sunday strips takes me longer than usual because I can’t easily see them all at once on the Chronicle site, so often doing blog work eats up a good chunk of what oughtta be a weekend day of rest and relaxation! So, Trilobite’s comment gets an extra day of glory thanks to the shift.