Post Content

Crankshaft, 11/13/21

In one of the more jarring bits of Funkyverse visual shorthand, traditionally panels that are supposed to be flashbacks are depicted in sepia tones with corner tabs, as if they were in an old-timey photo album. This was true whether the action in question was supposed to be taking years before the main narrative or only weeks; today we keep the coloring but lose the corner tabs, so I guess this is supposed to represent a sepia-style Instagram filter or something. Anyway, remember those crazy days of March and April of 2020, when we were desperately trying not to shit? Crankshaft does! Maybe we just don’t usually seem him in profile, but in that second panel he’s looking much portlier than usual, and given the context I really don’t want to think about the implications.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/13/21

Speaking of the good old days, remember just a few weeks ago when we thought all these people might get blown up? Sadly, some guy we barely had time to get to know and dislike got blown up instead, so now instead of seeing Rex and June wading through a sea of carnage to use their medical skills to help the survivors get the hell out of dodge, we have to watch whatever this is happen instead.

Family Circus, 11/13/21

“And alone! You’re going to die in your messy room alone.”

Post Content

Crock, 11/1/21

I’m going to take a break from my long-running feud with Crock to offer some helpful humor advice: in the third panel here, Crock and Poulet should be looking into a toilet. I know, I’m usually not a big proponent of toilet humor on this blog (see for instance the 395 posts I have written over the past 15 years about the comic strip Marvin) but I think it’s an important tweak that would help make this punchline, which is about desert bandits breaking into fort’s plumbing, easier to parse. In its current form, the strip is relying on the reader’s ability to interpret Crock art and their general investment the world-building of the Crockiverse to correctly identify that well in the final panel, and I’m sorry, but I just think that’s asking too much of average person, who is doing their best but quite frankly has a lot on their mind right now.

Gasoline Alley, 11/1/21

Aww, the cute talking bears are back in Gasoline Alley! They’re peeking in the window of a Halloween party and remarking on all the “food” inside, by which I think we can all agree they mean people. “Wish it was inside me!” says the adorable baby bear, referring to his desire to tear human flesh from human bone and swallow it in great bloody chunks.

Crankshaft, 11/1/21

If Crankshaft is going to inflict this level of sub-pun on us, I appreciate that he at least looks dead inside as he does it. “Get it? Branch? Tree? A branch is part of a tree? Look, I don’t want to be here any more than you do.”

Mary Worth, 11/1/21

Oh snap it’s gonna be Wilbur vs. Ed Harding, The Reasonably Handsome Veteranarian That We Know Absolutely Nothing About for Estelle’s love, and immediately Ed becomes the prohibitive betting favorite!!!

Dennis the Menace, 11/1/21

“Heh, heh,” thinks Martha. “Every day his menacing skills grow more powerful. And soon, whether George is in the madhouse or in the grave by his own hand, I’ll finally be free.”

Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 10/18/21

You don’t read Funky Winkerbean every day as long as I have without becoming a connoisseur of the various textures of suffering its characters endure. Of course, I hate every single Funkyverse inhabitant, so you’d think I’d love each and every kind of pain heaped upon them, but some of them allow the characters to become even more self-righteous, and I’m opposed to that, obviously. But this one? This one I like! Remember when some Hollywood people tried to make an actually watchable version of Lisa’s Story, but Les didn’t like it so he managed to sabotage the production and also get paid for it, but then he agreed to let Mason do it “the right way?” Well, turns out it was the wrong way if you wanted anyone to watch and enjoy it! Ha ha! Get it? Les’s movie’s a flop, and it’s all his fault! Movies usually have quite a long post-production process so it’s actually kind of odd that the wrap party was like six weeks ago and already the movie has landed in theaters with a thud. It’s also kind of odd that Les, who you’d think would be a little more in the loop on how the whole thing is going, just got a phone call from Mason saying “Yeah man, shit sucked, nobody liked it, sorry about that” and that’s how he found out. Almost like Mason didn’t actually bother putting the movie together or finding a distributor and instead left for South America with all his investors’ money! (Just kidding, nobody “invested,” financially or emotionally, in this movie.)

Crankshaft, 10/18/21

Meanwhile, in the “fun” Funkyverse strip, Pam thinks that only God can transform the basic nature of one of His creations, but Crankshaft seems to be contemplating some kind of genetic engineering project.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/18/21

Spent what I have to imagine is longer than most people spend contemplating Snuffy Smith contemplating today’s Snuffy Smith and came to the conclusion that this one is good. It’s weird, but good. Less grotesque tongue waggling at backwoods antics and more strips where Snuffy uses the volume of space he takes up as the basis of various gags, please.

Family Circus, 10/18/21

The Keanes have let Billy play tackle football for hours without a helmet in hopes that he’ll concuss himself, but it looks like that’s not going to happen tonight. Maybe they can get him to break his brain by trying to think!