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Crankshaft, 11/7/06

I was going to try to avoid Election Day-themed comics today in an attempt to stave off pointless basic-cable-level political shrieking in the comments section (and DON’T EVEN START because I WILL RELOCATE YOUR SCREEDS TO THE COCKPIT, I swear to God), but I couldn’t resist this nonpartisan little gem. There are two possibilities here:

• Crankshaft has totally snapped and is having PTSD flashbacks, thinks that his local middle school auditorium is a Wehrmacht machine gun nest, and is about to blow these civic-minded folks to bits with the sixty-year-old grenades he’s got in the pockets of that uniform.
• Crankshaft, who spent a good part of his youth engaged in the frightful carnage of World War II, is disgruntled by the use of war-related terms for non-war activities, and has decided that he’s going to make his point in such a way that a group of perfectly nice people who have never wished him any harm will be made profoundly uncomfortable.

Both are awesome.

Blondie, 11/7/06

For straight-up apolitical horror, though, you can’t beat this terrifying vision of She-Dagwood. The ickiest part is that they’re both visualizing the same freakish creature, but while Cookie is thankful for the fate that she avoided only by a genetic throw of the dice, Dagwood is positively enamored. I wonder if he visualizes a future where he and Girl Dagwood eat freakishly huge sandwiches, nap on the couch, and brutalize the mailman together, thus replacing the need for anyone else to share his life.

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Spider-Man, 11/2/06

This is just one more reason to oppose out-of-control corporate media consolidation.

Crankshaft, 11/2/06

Not soon enough, you evil old man, not soon enough.

Gil Thorp, 11/2/06

“A tie, do you hear me, a tie! We’re monsters! What have we done? A tie!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/06

Man, I think June played the race card kind of early in this dispute.

One Big Happy, 11/2/06

Hates boys? Sounds like she likes boys … a little too much.

…

OK, that … that was probably over the line.

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Crankshaft, 8/17/06

All right, Crankshaft. Do you want to be hardcore? I mean, the way the Lockhorns is hardcore, with an unrelenting focus on the unlikability of your title character? I sometimes get the feeling that you do, but you so often chicken out, with humanizing anecdotes about Crankshaft’s childhood or glimpses into his supposed soft side or mild jokes told by scantily clad girls. You’ve got to jettison all of that. Instead, every day should be like today. Panel one: Crankshaft is presented with an opportunity, at virtually no cost to himself, to perform some small act of human kindness. Panel two: Crankshaft declines to take said opportunity. Boom, boom. Hardcore.

Six Chix, 8/17/06

OK, Six Chix using the same joke as They’ll Do It Every Time was probably a coincidence. But here they’re using the patented TDIET format. Should Al Scaduto sit idly by and let them rip him off? No way! He needs to respond in the harshest way possible! No, not a lawsuit — with an angry cartoon!

Howzzat again? “Libby” and five of her friends say they’re going to create a new kind of comic strip … real “fresh,” yuh see…

…but when they run out of ideas … well, uh … guess whose playbook they’re poaching from?

Oh yeah!