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Six Chix, 5/6/21

Folks, Six Chix sure loves its cryptids, and I for one am on board! The strip long dwelled on a single subject: “What if Bigfoot were sexually attractive?” But now the strip has started branching out, onto subjects like “What if a human captured a mermaid and she eventually resigned herself to living with him?” and, today, “What if a rat were big?” I think I might like this one the best. Ha ha, look at that rat, everybody! He’s so big! And friendly. Only in New York!

Crock, 5/6/21

Ladies, you know how it is: you come home to find your husband visibly intoxicated and sitting atop a literal pile of garbage. This is such a cliche that in order to make a comic strip about it, you’d need to put a fresh new spin on it. Like, say, what if you were to use the world of computers as a metaphor? Eh? What if your house were some kind of computer system, which would make your drunk, disgusting husband malware of some sort? Eh? That’s how computers work, I think? I’ve never used one, but I’ve met people who have.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/6/21

HARRY DINKLE: [hears the word “mascot”]
HARRY DINKLE: [visualizes the mascot at the school where he used to work]
HARRY DINKLE: “I definitely am familiar with the word ‘mascot’ and its meaning!”

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Crock, 4/24/21

Man, I really respect how tired they made Maggot look in the final panel here. “Won’t beer cans explode? [extremely heavy sigh] Get it? Because I don’t know how to cook, and I’m an alcoholic? [long, awkward silence] Masculinity is a crushing prison.”

Dick Tracy, 4/24/21

I also respect how utterly disgusted Dick looks in his final panel today. Keep one of these deformed criminal freaks alive? That’s exactly the opposite of everything Dick stands for.

Hi and Lois, 4/24/21

Hi, your infant daughter is on the floor eating out of the dog’s bowl. I don’t think your kids would be doing significantly worse with Chip in charge, so why not go play golf, you know?

Mary Worth, 4/21/21

Oh, look, it’s an attractive blonde whose pupils are dilated with arousal at the mere sight of Dr. Drew! Could his life get any more dissatisfying?

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Crankshaft, 2/8/21

My earlier suggestion that what we’re seeing in Crankshaft was written a year ago and reflects the very early days of the coronavirus pandemic was meant mostly in jest, but after two weeks of Crankshaft defiantly going through his daily life in a hazmat suit, I’ve become more and more convinced I was right. Today’s gag, which name-checks hand sanitizer, everyone’s early-to-mid-pandemic obsession, just confirms it for me. I guess the strip’s putting it in terms of “flu” because the thought was that jokes about COVID-19 would be completely out of date by February of 2021? Ha ha! [laugh becomes increasingly manic and desperate] HA HA HA HA

Gil Thorp, 2/8/21

Wait, so Tessi is “short” for Tessa, a word the same number of letters and syllables? I refuse to accept this, but the alternate reading is that her full name is actually “Contessa,” which I refuse to accept even harder.

Crock, 2/8/21

Ha ha, it’s funny because … the birds shit in their food, which they then ate, not realizing it was full of bird shit? Wow, between this and Dennis the Menace yesterday, everyone’s just kind of going for it, huh.