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Archive: Daddy Daze

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Tess is in real danger of missing her one allotted smile for the month

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Dick Tracy, 12/20/21

I know I should be focusing on the fact that Blackjack, a member of Dick’s rogue gallery, owned a collection of Dick Tracy memorabilia and Dick promised to look after it when Blackjack went to prison (presumably because Dick sent him there), but it got stolen and Dick feels a genuine sense of personal failure over this, but I’m sorry, I’m very fixated on “that comes later.” Dick really cares about this stolen Dick Tracy collection business! “Sorry, Tess, you get a hug when you do a BETTER JOB scouring the DARK WEB for Blackjack’s stuff. I expect you to sleep on the couch tonight.”

Daddy Daze, 12/20/21

The Daddy Daze daddy is using all the Daddy Daze baby’s clothes for weird, upsetting art projects, and is also just letting the baby pee and poo into nonabsorbent plastic bubble wrap! I’m beginning to think that his divorce may have been too amiable and the Daddy Daze mommy should maybe reconsider their custody arrangements.

Mary Worth, 12/20/21

Mary, that is frankly a lot of words just to say “Damn, the sex must be incredible.”

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The ellipsis in “They’re not … available” is truly unsettling to me

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Daddy Daze, 12/17/21

Normally, I’m a big proponent of the “show, don’t tell” maxim in a visual medium like the comics, but you know what? I have zero interest in seeing twelve misshapen lumps of crumpled up newspaper stuffed inside baby clothes arranged in a circle in the middle of the floor while the Daddy Daze daddy crawls around them, interpreting his child’s incoherent babbling as Reginald Rose’s Emmy-winning dialogue. I don’t want to see that at all! I don’t even want to hear about it!

Beetle Bailey, 12/17/21

I was going to go on a riff here about how apparently we’re getting some psychological backstory on why Rocky is the way he is and ask who is that for, exactly, but then the question occurred to me: who is any of Beetle Bailey for, when you think about it? I mean I guess there are still people who jerk off to Miss Buxley, but I assume that’s a demographic that’s dying off pretty rapidly at this point. So sure, whatever, let’s get into the poverty-haunted home life that led to Rocky’s war crimes trial, might as well.

Crankshaft, 12/17/21

Ha ha, it’s funny because Crankshaft was playing Santa at Lillian’s store, but then he got drunk and passed out!

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Better than playing “inhuman wheelbarrow,” I guess

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/21/21

Snuffy Smith trufans! Do you want to get hot Snuffy Smith visual content like the turkey in today’s installment? Well, write your local newspaper to make sure they pay for the whole strip, including the throwaway panels! Otherwise you’re going to miss out on the drawing and just get several panels of Snuffy describing what it you’d be able to see if your paper’s editor wasn’t so cheap.

Daddy Daze, 11/21/21

Not gonna lie, if I came over to my ex’s house and found our infant child sitting by himself in the middle of the floor, while my ex was lying face down babbling nonsense in the other room, I would probably ask to revisit our custody arrangements.

Beetle Bailey, 11/21/21

Ha ha, it’s funny because Sarge is making Beetle dig his own grave!