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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/1/21

“I suppose some people need more adventure in their lives, or in the lives of the people they read about in serialized entertainment. Like, they want medical drama or gunplay or kidnapping or something fun like that! Why can’t they just watch a guy throw a ball back and forth with his dogs and children, forever? If they need a real thrill, they should think about this: there’s a chlorine shortage and we might have to go without the pool for a few days! Probably not, though, we’re rich and we have connections.”

Dennis the Menace, 8/1/21

This is a rambling, rhythmless strip with no real punchline, but it has a terrible, delicious moment at its core, where a smiling Mrs. Wilson confides to Dennis that “Believe it or not, Mr. Wilson used to be happy.” He’s not happy any more, of course! He’s profoundly unhappy. But at least he’s asleep now. Have a cookie, dear.

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/29/21

So, Grimm, who is a dog, got his owner/”mom” a “gift,” but the joke is he’s too cheap to actually get her an engraved champagne bucket (?) and instead he stole one (???) from the Sheraton in Chicago, a fairly nice hotel where he somehow managed to stay, despite being a dog, and also cheap? Interesting. Interesting.

Shoe, 7/29/21

The Pefesser, who I have always assumed to be in late middle age at the youngest (not that it’s easy to tell when you’re dealing with a bird-man) is often seen using a crate as a chair. Speaking as an early as a mid-middle-aged man myself, I can say with some confidence that this would be terrible for your back! There’s something particularly grim about it here, as the Perfesser puts the finishing touches on his presumably unsellable book, in what appears to be his large and almost entirely unfurnished attic.

Dennis the Menace, 7/29/21

Dennis the Menace appears to have taken a tiny step forward into the modern age by depicting Alice engaging in the near-universal 2020s pastime of simultaneously watching TV and playing around on her phone. Of course, she’s still in a world where her husband is wearing a checkered sports coat while relaxing at home, so let’s not get too excited just yet.

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Hagar the Horrible, 7/24/21

Wait, she went from dating a mollusk to dating a mammal? The mermaid sexual lifecycle in this strip is even weirder than I thought it was.

Dennis the Menace, 7/24/21

Just when you think Dennis can’t get any less menacing, you get an installment that entirely consists of him saying “Let’s read this other comic strip where the child characters are much more menacing than I am.”

Blondie, 7/24/21

If you’ve ever wondered how the Bumsteads keep their suburban lifestyle afloat on Dagwood’s stagnant salary and the proceeds from Blondie’s low-margin small business, here’s your answer: Blondie sell’s Dagwood’s feet pics to some very specific fetish sites.