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Archive: Dennis the Menace

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It’s quite harrowing to see what comic artists think a handsome man looks like

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/20/21

I’ve mocked them over the years, but I have come to respect the humble comics colorists as a vital part of the operation on the funny pages, and indeed believe sometimes they put more thought into their jobs than the cartoonists do. Take today’s Mother Goose and Grimm, for instance. The title character is, by long established convention, a bird, so her nose/mouth area gets a beak coloring, and her friend/drinking companion, despite her long hair, has a generally bird-like look, so she gets the same treatment. But what about the dude? In the suit? Is he a bird? He has a big pointy nose but he also has a big bulbous chin butt, rather than a chin drawn to resemble basically the bottom half a beak, like the ladies? But Ma Goose’s friend definitely wants to marry and/or fuck this guy, possibly not in that order, so it would be unseemly if he weren’t a bird, right? Better give his whole … nose/mouth … beak-ish … area the established beak aesthetic. Just to be safe!

Family Circus, 5/20/21

Another institution I’ve come to respect more and more over the years is the Family Circus. Say what you will about its treacly aura or its grandma-fridge fanbase, but it does commit to the consistency of its characters no matter where that leads. What I mean to say is that Billy is absolutely the kind of kid who would learn about the distinction between who and whom at school and then try to use his new knowledge to make his mom feel dumb, unsuccessfully.

Dennis the Menace, 5/20/21

A lot of people think Mr. Wilson is grumpy because Dennis is always over at his house annoying him, but there’s more to it than that. For instance, he also resents his wife of many years and thinks his marital life is a prison!

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Just get a normal damn phone, Dick

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Dennis the Menace, 5/17/21

Look, the only time I want Dennis to say “Now he’s studyin’ for the bar” as a punchline is if he’s repeating some crack from his parents about their guest’s terrible drinking problem that he pretends he didn’t understand. But this? I honestly have no idea what this is. A true menace would maybe be running a scam where he dresses a fellow kid up in a suit and claims he’s a lawyer and dares adults to contradict him, going on a small-time reign of legal terror, but we all know Dennis doesn’t have the grit to pull off a plan like that. Anyway, this kid’s a real square-ass nerd and Dennis, the comic pages’ biggest “menace,” is his friend and real proud of him, I guess!

Gil Thorp, 5/17/21

Aw snap, today’s my favorite day of the season: when the team over at Gil Thorp HQ pulls the giant lever all the way over to “wacky!” It looks like in addition to going to high school and being on the baseball team and working odd jobs to help support his impoverished family, Zane is going to be running for the library board against his girlfriend’s dad so his girlfriend’s dad can’t put his “let’s shut down all the libraries” agenda into action. Can this be any good for his relationship, his grades, or his fastball? Probably not, but it’s good for drama, which is what I crave.

Dick Tracy, 5/17/21

Speaking of drama, just days ago someone tried to assassinate Dick and Sam’s protectee in broad daylight. But today? Today they’re going to enjoy the legitimate theater!

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Are the Milfordians branching out to new restaurants, or did the Bucket finally decide its name was too dumb and needed a rebrand

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Gil Thorp, 5/13/21

It’s always fun to learn something new about a medium you’ve written about for years, which is why last weekend I followed with interest this Twitter thread from various comics types about whether a comics character needs to be drawn with their mouth open when speaking. I’ve been checking this out in various strips ever since, and while I generally agree with their consensus that closed-mouth-plus-word-balloon is fine and actually makes faces more expressive in many cases, I cannot recommend a scenario where a character is speaking while their mouth is closed around a slice of pizza and they’re smiling and you can see a couple teeth, somehow. My main point here is that Eating Pizza In A Fucked-Up Way Week is rolling right along here on the funny pages.

Pluggers, 5/13/21

Since this dog-man is the one who’s been made contact with, and since his character design is what we might describe as “pencil-necked,” I think we have to conclude that he himself is not a plugger, or at least not the plugger who’s intended to be the subject of the descriptive caption. Somewhere out there, presumably back at the tee, is the plugger in question, whose thoughtlessness is a menace to us all. A bold assertion from a comic that’s meant to be “celebrating” pluggers, honestly!

Dennis the Menace, 5/13/21

By pointing out his mother’s anachronistic language, Dennis threatens to unravel the entire fabric of his retro reality. He’s so committed to menacing he’s willing to undo his very existence in order to do it properly, and you have to respect it.