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Luann, 11/18/10

I’m a little embarrassed by how much I’ve enjoyed watching Dirk act like a mature (albeit mildly smug) adult while Brad shrieks incoherent threats at him like a furious child over the past few days. As we all know, Dirk can credit his newfound unflappability to Jesus, which makes his gnomic pronouncement in panel one somewhat intriguing. Is the Rapture coming? Has Dirk got advanced notice of the Rapture? Will we be allowed the joy of watching Dirk float triumphantly up to heaven, while Brad’s beady little eyes stare uncomprehending at his ascension?

Dick Tracy, 11/18/10

Good lord, Dick’s spent so much time in the company of hobos, and a significantly larger number of people pretending to be hobos for various incomprehensible reasons, that he’s forgotten the rule of law that he’s sworn to protect. Fortunately, America’s greatest arbiter of morality, Young Richard Nixon, is there to give him a refresher course on right and wrong.

Family Circus, 11/18/10

There’s something undeniably hilarious about the insouciant way little Jeffy is lying on the bed, propping up his head oh-so-casually, just waiting to deliver the punchline that will make his grandmother feel like a jerk for trying to spend time with him. It’s OK, Grandma! You can’t make yourself like him, and you don’t have to try! Don’t you have some friends your own age you can hang out with?

Ziggy, 11/18/10

Ha ha! It’s funny because Asians are good at martial arts! Also, Ziggy is going to be brutalized by his waiter.

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Gil Thorp, 10/30/10

The Mystery Of What Exactly Cody Exner Is Doing Down At The Park is temporarily on hold, because at last we’re going to get a solution to another mystery, one that’s been brewing ever since Jamaar “The Ghost” Gaddis appeared in the strip a year or two ago, namely The Mystery Of Why Jamaar Is Such A Dick. Turns out it’s because he’s consumed with rage against the cruel God who made him such a wee fellow! But both mysteries may be dovetailing together with the image of a sweaty, crazy-eyed Cody in panel three. Perhaps Cody has been stealing away to the park to conduct his secretive experiments in mad science, and he’s in ecstasy now that he realizes that he’s finally found a willing subject for injection with his dangerous, untested embigiffication serum.

Dick Tracy, 10/30/10

So it seems that David Dierdorf D’Buckworth took on the life of a fake hobo who hands out huge sums of money because he couldn’t stand his wife. Which totally makes sense! Women, am I right, fellas? Can’t live with ’em, so you might as well pretend to be homeless! Haw haw! Anyway, now she’s going to shoot him in the face.

Slylock Fox, 10/30/10

Hey, kids, remember, have a safe Halloween! Always go out in groups! Stick close with your family! And be sure to pop unexpectedly out of a jack-o-lantern, with eyes the size of dinner plates, waving a knife around and gibbering like a maniac, which should go over well with everybody.

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Mark Trail, 10/19/10

In the normal universe that we know, it would be quite reasonable for Future Governor Frank to assume that an important personage like the senator here would be wholly unacquainted with cabin-dwelling rustic Mark Trail, though I would describe him less as a “troublemaker” and more a “khaki-clad contraction-eschewing weirdo out of touch with ‘Real America.'” But unbeknownst to Frank, Mark has already saved the life of one senator and launched an ethics investigation against another; since the Senate is such a small and exclusive club, one must assume that the man whose patronage Frank has been seeking is already well acquainted with this Trail character. Sorry, Frank, it looks like your only hope is to turn against the senator, claiming you’re running to break his inside-the-beltway cabal, which is dominated by special interests like Mark Trail.

Dick Tracy, 10/19/10

It’s always dangerous to claim to understand anything happening in a given Dick Tracy strip, but it appears that Dick and the comely she-hobo are actually in cahoots, and the Fraud Unit officer in panel three looks to be similarly disguised as a bum. Were there ever any real hobos at all in this storyline? Their absence saddens me, though maybe the strip is trying to advocate against increased government funding for homeless services, since all so-called “homeless people” are just undercover law enforcement officers of one type or another.

Gil Thorp, 10/19/10

This is the part of the Gil Thorp season when Gil and Kaz realize that their players have gotten as far as they can on their native talent and enthusiasm, and would do better if only someone competent were coaching the team. Too bad they didn’t go to another high school!

Pluggers, 10/19/10

Suggested new caption: “Plugger Internet pornography.”