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Panel from Mark Trail, 10/13/10

The first panel of today’s Mark Trail is so glorious that I felt you deserved to see it as large as I could give it to you. It’s almost like you are some corpulent political insider, hoping to enjoy a little canned hunting and some desperate promises from the next governor, when suddenly a deranged little monster and her dead-eyed deer lunge at you, demanding that you refrain from doing exactly what you’ve paid to do.

Note that her upper body seems disproportionately larger than her legs. That’s probably a carefully crafted technique that provides the illusion of the little girl moving rapidly towards you. It certainly isn’t because she’s been crudely assembled out of whatever clip art has been left lying around on the floor of the Mark Trail studios, no sir!

Panel from Mary Worth, 10/13/10

Also worthy of close inspection is our first encounter with Adrian’s opinionated friend Jill, here expressing her opinions with an eye-roll so epic she appears to have sprained her face. We’ve all been preparing ourselves for some kind of epic battle of the meddlers over how Adrian’s wedding should be run, but Jill’s deep thought-ballooned sarcasm seems to indicate that she’s already bored with the whole exercise. Perhaps she will realize that Mary is eager to do dull stuff like watch Adrian model a series of indistinguishably hideous bridal gowns, and she’ll excuse herself to go do something that doesn’t make her want to slit her wrists.

Dick Tracy, 10/13/10

Wow, it seems that the famous hobo solidarity completely falls apart once it turns out that one of them has money, and that the true proletarians are about to turn on the kulak who’s been lurking in their midst. Dick Tracy will be truly conflicted if he ends up triumphing due to the thing he hates the most: class struggle.

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Dick Tracy, 10/12/10

Having discovered his target and infiltrated a sinister band of homeless people, Dick has decided that it’s about time to launch into the part of the storyline where the awful violence happens. You would think that, when a lone cop strides into an encampment of wrathful bums, the awful violence would be perpetrated against the isolated lawman. You would be wrong. As you can see, the misguided soul who’s attacking Dick in panel three is already screaming in agony only seconds after the battle begins. Is Dick’s unseen hand punching his filthy attacker in the gut, or worse? Is Dick’s razor-sharp chin, concealed under that fake beard, slicing the hobo’s arm open? Or does our hero’s aura of American decency and law and order cause real physical pain to undesirables?

Wizard of Id, 10/12/10

Ha ha! It’s funny because prisoners only have disgusting, rotten food to eat!

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Marmaduke, 10/8/10

Local authorities and various torch-wielding vigilante mobs have, when faced with the horror that is Marmaduke, often demanded that KILL IT OH MY GOD KILL IT’S A MONSTER KILL IT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. But the governor’s team of top scientific advisors have determined that attempting to “kill” Marmaduke will only cut his tenuous connection to a mortal, physical form, transforming him into a malevolent, destructive force of pure energy that can not be stopped or contained. Thus the executive orders to maintain the admittedly terrifying status quo.

Dick Tracy, 10/8/10

Oh my God, Dick Tracy has stumbled onto a cadre of Communist hobos! This makes the hobo-eradication program he conducts in his off hours totally justified, retroactively!

Funky Winkerbrean, 10/8/10

“What I’m trying to say is, if you manage to suppress your wholly baffling attraction to him, you won’t be turning your back on the troops and God and America and freedom. He’s just a drunk with really bad luck! Wanna see my stump? The stump that WALLY MADE?”