Post Content

Dick Tracy, 8/21/23

Hey, remember that Dick Tracy storyline that I wasn’t really bothering to try to follow in any detail? Well, it’s ended (?) with the main (??) villain falling into a big pile of pigeon shit. Say what you will about being eaten alive by rats while you’re wearing a gimp suit, but it has a certain dignity to it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/21/23

Galoot? Ruckus? Holler? The roots country bullshit in this strip is reach intolerable levels. Someone needs to call the CDC to quarantine the whole thing until we can figure out what’s going on.

Slylock Fox, 8/21/23

Of course Slylock knows! He’s been standing here watching the whole thing! You’re not making him do any stupid math and it’s not fair.

Mary Worth, 8/21/23

Well, the dognapper ordeal was resolved with the victims restored to physical and psychological health, and then Mary and Ed wrapped up their depressing date, so that means we’re finally ready to move onto a new storyline — oh, wait, what’s that? It’s time for Saul and Eve and their dogs to visit a “dog beach”? That’s, uh, great! I’m happy about this! I love dogs, and dog-related Mary Worth storylines! Please don’t tell anyone I don’t like dogs! [Tomorrow’s banner headline: AREA DOG-HATING BLOGGER CANCELED]

Post Content

Dick Tracy, 7/24/23

I think, over the years that I’ve done this blog, that my brain has developed a protective layer that stops truly terrible (in a boring way, not a fun way) soap opera plots from taking root. I choose to believe that this, and not some kind of incipient dementia, is why I can not tell you a single thing about what is going on in Dick Tracy, despite diligently reading it every day. Who is Madsen? I mean, I know he’s this ska guy, but what is his relationship to Audie and Sabrina, exactly? What’s the deal with Anders? Is “Argos” a place or a person or Odysseus’s dog or what? I neither know the answer to any of these questions nor do I plan to go back through the Dick Tracy archives to discover them, but that won’t stop me from enjoying today’s strip, in which Audie spills his dang pills, then calmly and meticulously drops them back into the pill bottle.

Gil Thorp, 7/24/23

“What kind of town is Milford anyway?” you might rightfully ask. Well, it’s the kind of town where the craze for high school athletics completely dominates all local media, but it’s also the kind of town where a hardened teenage criminal in the middle of playing punishment football might say something like “Coach Thorp, it’s raining. Shall we adjourn?” It’s a rich tapestry and I respect that so much.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/24/23

I’m sorry, “didn’t mean to make a joke” is possibly the most unnecessary thing Rex Morgan has ever said. “If that came across as a joke, please know that I didn’t mean it, and I only did it accidentally because I have no idea what a joke is or how they work. I definitely don’t enjoy them and would never make one on purpose.”

Post Content

Gasoline Alley, 7/19/23

I always respect Gasoline Alley’s commitment to doing shambolic, pointless plots that seem to go on forever, and we’re in the middle of a real stemwinder at the moment. To recap: Rufus is still in the hospital due to his head injury, still has amnesia, and is still showing more skin than I’m comfortable with. Today’s strip is noteworthy because of the comical terror in which these two rustics regard the Automatic Robotic Techno-nurse. This can’t be the result of sheer ludditism, since they’ve taken technological advances like CAT scans in stride in the course of their medical adventure, so it must be that they’re shocked that anyone would go through the trouble of building a humanoid robot that carries pills and decanters in its hands for this purpose, when an automated and wheeled cart would be much more efficient and easier to implement.

Dick Tracy, 7/19/23

Speaking of plots that go nowhere, Dick Tracy is in the middle of a plot that has been going so nowhere that I haven’t bothered featuring it here much, though I will tell you that there was a whole week where Dick became obsessed with a chunk of plaster found at a crime scene that was from a very specific Art Deco decoration on the front of a very specific building. Anyway, you’d think a guy that much into historic urban architecture would at least consider that the story behind moving trucks showing up in a largely abandoned warehouse district might be “gentrification” rather than “crime.”

Judge Parker, 7/19/23

Good news, everyone! A sweaty guy in a suit holding a surprisingly large knife has shown up in Judge Parker, and there’s never been a soap opera plot that couldn’t benefit from that kind of development.

Gil Thorp, 7/19/23

Gil Thorp has an intermittent tradition of doing wacky summer plotlines like “Coach Kaz becomes a rock star’s bodyguard” or “Marty Moon gets grifted at golf” or “Gil does a charity pro wrestling match with a guy whose angle is that he has Alzheimers.” But will any of those be able to hold a candle to 2023’s Summer Of The Throuple?