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Archive: Dick Tracy

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I would go more for a “HACHI-MACHI!” myself

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Dick Tracy, 5/10/22

I’ve apparently lived my life either correctly enough or incorrectly enough that I’ve never worked anywhere that’s been subject to a police raid, but if I ever am, I dearly hope that I have the presence of mind to react with a hilarious pratfall and Jerry Lewis-esque sound effect. Anyway, I hope Dick’s cartoonist friend is proud that his Bugs and Worms comic-themed video game is “doing great” among criminals.

Dennis the Menace, 5/10/22

Does Dennis think … the car salesman is drunk? Is that what he’s saying? Whatever it is you’re getting at, it’s only menacing if you say it in front of him, Dennis, this is just confusing.

Mary Worth, 5/10/22

“Wait, what if a thing that’s happening … continues to happen?” Toby asks, suddenly aghast. Boy, you finally get your brain around object permanence and it really raises a whole host of unnerving questions, doesn’t it?

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Admittedly our bully duo don’t seem to have absorbed the meaning of “hubris”

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Beetle Bailey, 5/3/22

Man, I really respect the second panel here for unleashing the full-throttle refusal to give a shit that makes Beetle Bailey the strip we all know and read every day for some reason. Just a bunch of people, some of whom we know and some we don’t, standing around a … void? with no furniture? because that’s what a “rec room” is, in the army? I guess???? Anyway, the fact that everyone’s facial expressions range from mild excitement to vague annoyance is just icing on the cake. Bravo, it doesn’t get more Beetle Bailey vibes than this.

Curtis, 5/3/22

“Ignorant,” Curtis? Derrick and Onion clearly paid attention in class when you were supposed to be learning about Greek mythology, which is more than you can say.

Dick Tracy, 5/3/22

“Yes, your honor, we have Stuntman Mike’s evidence on this. No, I don’t know his last name. I don’t know if he’s actually a stuntman, either. I only talk to him on the computer and his face is always blurred out. Look, are you going to give me a no-knock warrant to raid this day care center or am I going to have to start leaking to the press that you’re a soft-on-crime lib the next time you’re up for re-election?”

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Man is the cruelest animal of all

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Dennis the Menace, 4/27/22

I guess you eventually get bored revealing your parents’ shit-talk in front of their guests and have to move onto some real hardcore menacing, like playing sick mind games with your pets. Hot Dog has always been by far the secondary Mitchell critter, but Dennis knows how to turn his fickle charms on a dime to real cause emotional chaos. Dennis’s praise boils down to “I like you because, like me, you don’t have emotional attachments,” but Hot Dog clearly is overjoyed to briefly be the center of attention. Ruff, meanwhile, is utterly devastated by this development.

Blondie, 4/27/22

Look, obviously comics are a visually whimsical medium and part of the gimmick of Blondie is the contrast in the cartoonish proportions of tall and gangly Dagwood and short and stumpy Mr. Dithers. But for some reason I think it’s pretty jarring to make it very obvious that Dithers’s shoulders are level with the countertop, and somehow putting a photorealistic coffeemaker on that countertop just makes it worse.

Dick Tracy, 4/27/22

Ha, yes, if there’s one thing the cops are always very concerned about it’s the violent drama among marginal criminal characters. “Well, we let the guy who kidnapped your girlfriend back on the street,” says Dick, “but if he causes more trouble, have you considered calling the police? The non-emergency number, please.”