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Beetle Bailey, 11/17/21

Miss Buxley’s face isn’t what you would call “expressive” — it’s more what I would call “blowup sex doll” — but given that she’s juggling multiple devices to fulfill her work duties while her boss, who has given her all these duties, waxes nostalgic about the good old days, I do think her expression is successfully conveying the correct sentiment in panel two, which is “MURDER MUDER MURDER”.

Dick Tracy, 11/17/21

Given that the Apparatus is led by a guy who wears a full-body gimp suit just to hang around the office and staffed by people like Doubleup, a dude with Dagwood Bumstead hair who carries a bullwhip around at all times, it’s extremely hilarious to me that they just have a regular-ass receptionist named “Joanne” out at the front desk fielding calls. I assume she sort of knows she’s taking messages about murders and such but in the grand scheme of things she’s not paid enough to care about it, you know?

Pluggers, 11/17/21

The periods at the end of the sentences here really make this one grim. “Oh hey,” the dog-man says, without emotion. “A wheat penny from 1955. Huh.” There’s no joy or excitement in this realization. He’s not even sure why he checks anymore, really. Finding a wheat penny is just another thing that happens to him, from a long list of things that have happened to him, a list that is rapidly accelerating towards its conclusion.

Blondie, 11/17/21

Sorry, I don’t buy this “eBay” business at all. We all know Elmo is a crypto guy, and he would absolutely be trying to sell Dagwood an NFT of his little bird, which would be a much more lucrative scam.

Crankshaft, 11/17/21

“I mean, it would look terrible, but whatever! It’s your video! You asked me for help, do you what you want, see if I care.”

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Dennis the Menace, 11/9/21

I guess the joke here is supposed to be that Dennis is misinterpreting a traditional bridal party as some sort of harem situation? But in fact since all the women on this TV are wearing different colored dresses, and none of them appear to be the bride, it’s actually pretty reasonable to assume that the Mitchells are watching The Bachelor or a The Bachelor-style reality romance show, which would make Dennis’s question not menacing at all but just a standard commentary on the nature of the TV program. Either way, I don’t appreciate the “Eh? Eh? Sex?” look that Henry is giving us.

Mary Worth, 11/9/21

Oh my God, it’s only Tuesday — it is, I can’t emphasize enough, only Tuesday — and already Wilbur is singing angrily yelling Justin Timberlake’s 2002 hit “Cry Me A River” at Estelle and her date, who appears to have frozen in place, hoping nobody will notice him. Only Tuesday! How will Estelle counter???

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/21

“Ah yes, ‘blue skies’ — our old, uncrackable code for all’s clear. Thank goodness for our military background so we can communicate in utter secrecy this way. Now let’s read the next sentence, which — ah. Hmm.”

Dick Tracy, 11/9/21

When your mind finally snaps, what gibberish sentence will you be vacantly pecking out on a typewriter, over and over? I was never sure until today, but now I know it’s going to be “My name is Sam Catchem. I ordered Volume Six of ‘Derby Dugan: The Geebus Years.’” And you know what? I’m at peace with that.

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Dick Tracy, 11/3/21

I know I shouldn’t quibble about “realism” in a strip that features a seedy bar called “Bucket of Blood,” one of the patrons of which is a guy named “Bogart the Roach” who’s dressed like [gestures vaguely at today’s Dick Tracy]. But I do find it very funny that Dick has decided that for this undercover assignment, he’s going to don a hoodie, that sleazy garment worn only by known scumbags like Mark Zuckerberg, and he got one the exact same yellow color as his usual trench coat and fedora. Does this compromise the disguise aspect of the outfit? Maybe, but you have to understand this: it’s his signature color.

Mary Worth, 11/3/21

I have to sincerely apologize for assuming yesterday that Wilbur was rejecting Pierre. If I had given it more than 30 seconds of thought, I would have realized that Wilbur is never the rejecter and always the rejectee in any given social situation. Anyway, I think you should absolutely follow your instincts on this one, Wilbur.

Hi and Lois, 11/3/21

Damn, it’s a good thing that only we are privy to the contents of Trixie’s thought balloons, and that Lois has no idea what’s going on in that weird little head of hers, because otherwise she’d be crushed to learn that she has a stupid baby who doesn’t even understand the basics of how our heliocentric solar system works. Look at that innocent smile on her face! She doesn’t realize at all! It’s sad, really.

Dennis the Menace, 11/3/21

I feel like that is a look of genuine pathos on Mr. Wilson’s face that simply can’t be explained away by his foot being asleep. “I know the doctor said to lay of sweets,” he’s thinking, “but I don’t want to lose my leg! I don’t think I can handle it! Martha! Martha!”