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Gil Thorp, 7/16/22

We’re wrapping up the first week of new-look Gil Thorp, which has consisted entirely of one of Gil’s ex-athletes giving a speech about why Gil deserves the Coach of the Year award, and we’re learning that new-look Gil is comfortable with both sharing his tragic emotional backstory and with using slang, like the kids today, when relating to a student who’s the victim of abuse from his parents and taking his aggression out on his teammates. Gil may not be a snitch, but I’m pretty sure he’s a … mandatory reporter? More on this situation as it develops.

Dustin, 7/16/22

Dustin is, famously, a strip about the eternal war between old people and young people, created in total ignorance of what actual young people do or are like. For instance, today’s strip posits that it’s young people who accidentally post things when they mean to search for things, and also it’s young people who use Facebook, two truly incredible assertions that I have to respect for how wildly incorrect they are.

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Funky Winkerbean, 7/6/22

Man, wouldn’t it be cool if Funky Winkerbean made an abrupt change in its narrative style and suddenly became a retro-cyberpunk strip (set in the original 1980s heyday of cyberpunk, even) where Harry Dinkle used his computer hacking prowess to gain authority over Westview High without his techno-ignorant colleagues even noticing? It wouldn’t even have to be a permanent abrupt change. Just for one storyline would be a relief from the endless puns. Computers in the ’80s couldn’t make puns, right? That was beyond their capabilities?

Dustin, 7/6/22

I’ve made some jokes about how the unstoppable passage of time has shifted Dustin’s core “Boomer vs. Millennial” concept to a significantly less bankable “elder Gen X vs. young Millennial/first-wave Zoomer” scenario, but I think we can agree that no matter what the actual ages of the people in the strip are, the main engine of the whole thing is Boomer dude condescension. How else do you explain today’s punchline at the expense of Abba, a band that was always pretty beloved and has undergone a critical appraisal of late? “Ha ha, Abba,” says the strip’s viewpoint character, about one of the best-selling music acts of all time, which spawned a wildly popular stage musical and film series, “I think we can safely do a punchline predicated on notion that we all agree that they suck!”

Mark Trail, 7/6/22

Look, it’s come to our attention that Mark Trail’s core audience may be tired of long storylines about how cryptocurrency is bad or whatever. So, we’re going back to the core story topics that have made this strip great: animals, and their gross rashes. Hope you enjoy the close-up drawings of weeping sores, freaks!

Gasoline Alley, 7/6/22

Gasoline Alley: the long-running continuity strip that’s in touch with everyday real Americans, their lives, and their problems. Also, it features a talking bird who strictly enforces sexual morality. It’s a real nightmare place!

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Panel from The Lockhorns, 7/3/22

This one gets even better when you think about the backstory. Presumably the lifeguard jumped down out of his chair and dashed off into the surf to save someone struggling out in the water. The rest of the beachgoers watch the drama, praying for a safe ending and admiring the lifeguard’s prowess. Leroy, meanwhile, sees an opportunity to do a bit. “She’s gonna hate this,” he thinks, chuckling to himself.

Dennis the Menace, 7/3/22

Alice’s look of genuine surprise in the next to last panel really makes this one for me. “Wait a minute … the stringbean arms … the scrawny legs … did I marry a nerd? Oh, no, I married a real dweebus! I can’t believe it!”

Dustin, 7/3/22

I can’t believe I’m about to type the following phrase, but I really respect today’s Dustin. A lesser strip would’ve made the kid character the butt of the joke and had him dumbfounded by metaphors, whereas instead we have him slowly realizing that everyone in this family is a jackass, not just Dustin.