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Dustin, 1/22/21

Ha ha, ladies, amiright folks? They definitely be shopping, and they also be using their purse for its intended purpose of carrying things around rather than just leaving it empty!

Gil Thorp, 1/22/21

Oh, right, in addition to the Vic and Doug storylines, this Gil Thorp basketball season also features a girl’s basketball storyline, about beloved (?) new Mudlark Corina Karenna, and how maybe she has some beef against Tessi Milton that she displays by sassing her in very mild ways like calling her by her last name, or maybe she’s just mildly sassy in general, who can say. Anyway, I’m definitely not saying that girls’ Gil Thorp storylines are less interesting than boys’ Gil Thorp storylines in a larger abstract sense, but I am going to say that Corina needs to get sassier by like two orders of magnitude if she wants to compete with Vic’s hot dog giveaways for my attention.

Mark Trail, 1/22/21

From the comic strip that brought you Boatsplosion! and Boatsplosion 2: The Boatsplosioning, comes: Boatsplosion III: Fireworks Yacht.

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Dustin, 1/12/21

You know, I’ve griped about Dustin slamming on millennials (as represented by the strip’s title character), but I haven’t put that much effort into it because, enh, millennials, probably they have it coming. But when you decide to come after librarians? When you say that librarians don’t want people eating and drinking in the library (which literally ruins books that cost money to replace that they’d have to pay out of their shrinking budget) and they don’t want people reshelving books (which patrons aren’t trained to do and if they screw it up it makes books difficult or impossible to find) and they don’t want people talking on their cell phones in the library (this is literally annoying to everybody, who could possibly object to idiots talking loudly on their cell phones in the library being asked to leave) because they’re frumpy martinets who love rules? That’s when I declare that you’re garbage person and I swear a sacred oath to destroy you. Be warned!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/12/21

So it looks like Barney Google and Snuffy Smith has decided on what the defining feature of its hot new character, Li’l Sparky, is going to be: it’s going to be puns based on noises horses make. As we can tell today, a key aspect of this bit is that Li’l Sparky is going to really insist that everyone acknowledge that he’s doing it, until all the other horses (and, I assume, eventually the non-horse characters) come to dislike him. Can’t wait!

Mary Worth, 1/12/21

“Greta, our friend Eve started weeping openly in public but doesn’t want to talk about it. Is there some way I can make this about me?”

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Blondie, 12/20/20

The “Frosty the Snowman” and “Jingle Bells” parodies here are of course very easy to identify, but “It’s the most wonderful food season of all” is driving me crazy. Surely it’s not meant to be “It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.” Surely. It doesn’t scan at all. I don’t expect much from legacy comics at this point, but I expect better than that.

Dustin, 12/20/20

It’s no secret that I genuinely loathe Dustin’s dad. But in the spirit of the season, I’m glad he’s having a good time engaging in his favorite Christmas celebration: watching It’s A Wonderful Life and drinking glass after glass of wine and pissing a lot, confident each time he stumbles into the bathroom that yes, he came in here to piss, he still has at least some tenuous grip on the world around him.