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Dustin, 5/23/19

Wow, this is quite a turn in the depiction of the generational Boomer vs. Millennial battle in Dustin! Sure, the kids these days spend too much time on Twitter and are lazy to the point of narcolepsy, but check out this late-middle-aged criminal who’s shocked, shocked that he might suffer consequences for stealing! And check out Dustin’s dad, a high-priced defense attorney who cheerfully profits from white-collar crime whether he wins his case or not! If you need consolation, my silver-haired thief, maybe you should find it in the fact that you presumably came to court from your nice house, wearing a nice suit, rather than, just to take an example at random, spending three years on Riker’s Island awaiting trial for shoplifting a backpack. Presumably you’ll get to go back to your nice house and will have a leisurely month or two to talk to your broker and accountant about how to sell enough securities to pay that fine without unduly increasing your tax burden. The system works!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/23/19

It’s hard for me to admit that I have a “favorite” kind of Funky Winkerbean, but I do, and it’s this kind: the kind where the character delivering the punchline at least has enough self-awareness to look ashamed about it.

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Dustin, 5/20/19

OK, I guess today I’m going to formalize what’s becoming a regular feature on this blog; this is another installment of Josh, A Gen-Xer And Thus A Neutral Party, Assesses The Accuracy Of Dustin, A Strip About The Clash Between Millennials And Baby Boomers That Blatantly Favors The Latter.

What today’s Dustin gets right: Millennials do seem to love astrology! Like, love it a little too much! It’s like a whole thing!

What today’s Dustin gets wrong: Millennials don’t get their horoscopes from a physical newspaper, and also don’t look at job ads in a physical newspaper, and also job ads in a physical newspaper are no longer a particularly useful way to find jobs.

Ha ha, but, horoscopes and the kids today though! Am I right folks?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/20/19

Kelly and Niki have become insanely square compared to their origin stories as a sass-talking goth and petty thief, respectively, but they and their pal Barfy McChokerson are the closest this strip still has to interesting characters, so I guess I’m glad to see them. What do you suppose is the deal with those guys over at the next table, the ones vibrating like tuning forks? Are they shaking in anxiety as they work on the nerve to rob the joint? Are they addicts who are starting to twitch uncontrollably as they go into withdrawal? Are they just chilly? Is the air conditioning up too high, and they were right on the edge of being cold and then made the mistake of ordering iced coffees? Should they have worn more layers?

Funky Winkerbean, 5/20/19

Say, it’s been a while since we checked in on the Les-Cayla marriage. How’s it going? Today’s strip really gives us a sense of the sweep of that whole relationship, from the early days when Cayla was still capable of being disappointed by Les, to today, when she’s just completely numb to his bullshit.

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Mary Worth, 5/9/19

Gotta appreciate the efficient storytelling in today’s Mary Worth! Estelle’s unkempt hair and vague reference to the “several” days it’s been since she heard from “Arthur” let us know that she’s entered a sort of sad fugue state, not bathing or leaving the apartment or talking to anyone other than her only mildly interested cat. I just want to point out that, now that you can get staples like CAT CHOW delivered to your door by Amazon, Estelle could keep this up for weeks, becoming a Miss Havisham of the condo complex, until Mary or Toby finally get bored with whatever they’re up to and decide to check on her.

Dustin, 5/9/19

So for those of you who aren’t, like me, getting really drawn into learning about and immediately disliking the minutia of Dustin, this lady here works at Dustin’s temp agency, and she’s always trying to find temp assignments for him but he keeps screwing them up and getting fired because ha ha millennials, amiright? Anyway, today she doesn’t like Siri because … get this … it doesn’t understand sarcasm! This joke probably would’ve landed better if we had seen her attempting to look something up sarcastically, like “Hey Siri, find me a job for my favorite client, the extremely task-oriented and reliable Dustin,” but I get that all that dialogue would take away from three solid panels of a lady looking at her phone while a dude looks at her from the other side of a desk.