Archive: Family Circus

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Family Circus, 7/11/11

I actually don’t feel any need to discuss PJ’s pants (they’re called “men’s capris,” and they’re not particularly rare these days), but I do think we should take a hard look at Jeffy’s. For years I’ve heard jokes about his “leg warmers.” I’ve always assumed that he’s supposed to be wearing dark jeans that are cuffed up at the bottom, like he’s some kind of 1950’s tough, but in today’s version he just seems to be wearing some kind of featureless black leggings that have a blue stripe at the bottom, stretching from his ankles almost all the way up to his knees (not that it’s easy to figure out where the knees are given his freakish Keane Kid anatomy, yeesh). Anyway, I’m guessing that Jeffy looks so sad because he know his sister’s vicious fashion inquisition will be turned upon him in short order.

Archie, 7/11/11

I was going to say that White Collar Prison Riot and Crash Dancing were the all-time funniest things ever associated with the Archie franchise, but then I read this.

Oh, and hey! Did you know today is the seventh anniversary of when I started this blog? That’s, um, a lot of blogging. Good lord I’m old.

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Mary Worth, 6/22/11

Today’s Mary Worth brings us a valuable lesson on how to enjoy Mary Worth — and indeed, explains one of the reasons why Mary Worth enjoys being Mary Worth. Variety is the spice of life, and thus every meddle is different. If they were all the same, what joy or texture would there be in Mary interfering in the lives of her hapless victims? No, she doesn’t know until she’s in the thick of it whether the meddlees will need to literally drink themselves into the gutter before they’re receptive to Mary’s life-molding or whether they’ll just burst into open sobbing and oversharing the minute she asks her first gingerly probing questions. Do you think Mary’s taken aback that Liza has opened up so easily? Don’t worry, Mary, I feel confident that there’s an emotional roller-coaster of insanity in your future, as Liza imprints on you as her new guru/love object and refuses let you out of her sight.

Family Circus, 6/22/11

The fact that very long-running strips reuse art and even whole gags is obviously not news. Certainly today’s Family Circus panel, which features the red-headed children dully staring at an enormous console TV that they’re way too close to has the vibe of decades-old art, although for all I know it could have been drawn last month (but surely that would have been a terrible waste of effort?). Anyway, it got me thinking about how there must be endless material to be mined from dead-eyed Keane Kids watching television and saying vaguely cute/precocious things about it, so look for this panel to appear again and again, long after most Americans have forgotten that “televisions” used to be a distinct piece of free-standing electronic equipment, rather than a series of screens built into every wall of every home, switching on and off as you moved from room to room, making sure you were never without entertainment.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/22/11

Have you ever seen a movie or TV show where somebody interacts with the main characters without speaking, even though that seems kind of off? Once an actor starts talking, they move up to a whole different pay scale, so generally there’s some financial reasoning behind it. Comic strips don’t really work on the same economic logic, though, so that doesn’t explain why Sullen McMaybepregnant here silently thrusts a note a Les before stalking off. Presumably she’s disgusted beyond words that the entire school has been inexplicably driven into a frenzy of arousal by the Les-on-Susan smooching pic that’s been making the rounds.

The Lockhorns, 6/22/11

Oh, isn’t that cute! Despite it all, Loretta still believes that Leroy will become a beautiful butterfly. I hope he does too, in the sense that I hope that his squat, misshapen husk of a body will one day split open, revealing an enormous, terrifying insect within.

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Mark Trail, 6/11/11

We interrupt this 100 percent laughable police work (“Moccasins, eh? You know who wears moccasins? Weird mountain men! I seen it on the TV!”) to say a few words in memory of this noble mountain goat. He was innocently attempting to leap dramatically from crag to crag, as is the wont of his species, when he was brutally impaled by an errant word balloon and pinned to the sky like a bug in an entomologist’s collection. He deserved a better fate and will be missed.

Mary Worth, 6/11/11

Remember, everyone, Mary thinks that the best way to deal with these sorts of “delicate matters” is to bully the poor lovestruck delusional soul until he or she is driven to suicide, which explain why she’s stroking her chin like a sinister supervillain in panel two.

Family Circus, 6/11/11

Normally I don’t want to see any kind of bodily fluids dripping from any member of the noxious Keane clan, but I have to admit that I’m rather enjoying the sight of sweaty, exhausted Billy. It summons up a vision of him dressed in his fancy tennis clothes and hitting the ball again and again into the net, growing increasingly frustrated and saddened at his own incompetence, which I frankly find hilarious.