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Dick Tracy, 4/30/08

Yes, you might say poetic justice, if in fact there were any poetic justice in the situation whatsoever. I suppose Cole Lector was rich, but it’s not as if Dab Stract or the police are going to be handing over his money and geegaws to the poor now that he’s been killed. In fact, the whole notion of redistribution of wealth ought to make Dick so righteously angry that he’d grab that Red bow out of Dab Stract’s hands and break it over his knee, just like he would snap that Commie Robin Hood’s spine, if he could lay his hands on him. The only possible answer is that Dick is not in fact listening to a word Dab Stract or anyone else is saying, and is just interjecting random tough-guy bon mots whenever he becomes vaguely aware that there’s a lull in the conversation. It would explain a lot about the disjointed dialogue in this strip.

Crankshaft, 4/30/08

Ha ha! Crankshaft’s an angry old man that nobody likes, and he’s about to be stung all over his face by bees! Oh, it doesn’t take much to warm the cockles of my black, black heart.

Family Circus, 4/30/08

“Well, there has to be some reason. For starters, it would help if I liked you.”

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Gil Thorp, 4/24/08

We all knew that the new Gil Thorp artist would face his first really tough test when forced to draw three disconnected panels of insane sports action, and I’m proud to say that he’s passed with flying colors. In panel one, power pitcher Lisa Wyche rotates her arm 360 degrees in its socket to deliver a throw behind the batter’s back to her catcher, six feet away; in panel two, Branden’s double is only a fraction of a second away from shattering the left fielder’s eye socket; and in panel three, Branden combines a slide with a ballerina’s split in an attempt to avoid a vicious karate chop from the third basewoman. All in all, it’s quite a respectable outing for fans of deranged softball-like hallucinations, which I trust all of you are.

Family Circus, 4/24/08

“Also, powerful forces beyond your control will use you for their own ends, constantly rubbing you down until you’re a worn-out nub, and then will throw you in the trash. So, what I’m trying to say is, somebody go get grandma some more gin.”

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Funky Winkerbean, 4/19/08

Ha ha! It’s funny because Funky looks volcanically angry! He’s no doubt going to physically assault his stepson! It’s wacky!

I know that every generation throughout history has thought that the next generation coming up represents the end of civilization as we know it, and yet civilization continues not to end. Still, I live only a few blocks from the main Johns Hopkins undergraduate campus, so my neighborhood is somewhat lousy with the youth of today, and I am continually appalled by the social situations in which they think it’s acceptable to wear their pajama bottoms — and I’m someone who works at home and wears pajama bottoms pretty much all day. Maybe someday I’ll feel comfortable wearing them to the store, like the kids do, but somehow I doubt it. But I generally take an attitude of wry amusement about it, and don’t, say, glower like I’m about to punch someone in the throat.

Family Circus, 4/19/08

For once, I agree with Jeffy. Life in the Keane Kompound could only be made more entertaining if hungry, hungry zoo animals were set loose there.

Blondie, 4/19/08

Try to visualize exactly how that towel is wrapped around Dagwood’s waist. Now try to tell me that Mr. Dithers isn’t looking at Dagwood’s junk.