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Mary Worth, 11/18/21

This is, even within the context of a Wilbur storyline in Mary Worth, extremely sad. Remember earlier in this storyline when he was putting himself out there, full of confidence? Now he’s fallen back to his natural level, and it’s using “my own dog doesn’t even love me” as an attempt to get some pity-sex.

Crankshaft, 11/18/21

“Oh, wow, sorry my trying to help you has been such a burden! Sure, why don’t you drive from Ohio to Seattle and then sit in a poorly ventilated room with dozens of other people for eight hours. You’re 85 years old or whatever, you’ll probably be fine!”

Dennis the Menace, 11/18/21

Hmm, Dennis, your brand of menacing is supposed to be big and aggressive and flying in the face of society’s rules. Letting Joey know that you’ve already resigned yourself to your place as just another faceless cog in the machine and that he needs to as well is, ironically, one of the most menacing things you’ve ever done.

Family Circus, 11/18/21

“Did you know that you could be a parent and still dress vaguely fashionably, mommy? That you don’t have to dress like a dowdy old lady? You’re, like, 35 tops, right?”

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Crankshaft, 11/13/21

In one of the more jarring bits of Funkyverse visual shorthand, traditionally panels that are supposed to be flashbacks are depicted in sepia tones with corner tabs, as if they were in an old-timey photo album. This was true whether the action in question was supposed to be taking years before the main narrative or only weeks; today we keep the coloring but lose the corner tabs, so I guess this is supposed to represent a sepia-style Instagram filter or something. Anyway, remember those crazy days of March and April of 2020, when we were desperately trying not to shit? Crankshaft does! Maybe we just don’t usually seem him in profile, but in that second panel he’s looking much portlier than usual, and given the context I really don’t want to think about the implications.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/13/21

Speaking of the good old days, remember just a few weeks ago when we thought all these people might get blown up? Sadly, some guy we barely had time to get to know and dislike got blown up instead, so now instead of seeing Rex and June wading through a sea of carnage to use their medical skills to help the survivors get the hell out of dodge, we have to watch whatever this is happen instead.

Family Circus, 11/13/21

“And alone! You’re going to die in your messy room alone.”

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Beetle Bailey, 11/12/21

Plato is exactly the kind of dork who would try to pull off the “the most erotic organ of all is the brain” thing, but declaring that he’s about to read erotic fiction and jerk off his cerebral cortex right here in front of everybody is a bridge too far.

Family Circus, 11/12/21

Meanwhile, Billy is claiming to have some kind of terrible amoeboid brain parasite in a last ditch effort to avoid the consequences of just being kind of dumb.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/12/21

Here’s today’s Mother Goose and Grimm! It’s about some dogs that are about to piss on another dog’s tongue.