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Archive: Family Circus

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Is that a … queen? Did an actual monarch attend this backwoods educational institution? I don’t buy it

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Mary Worth, 7/25/21

I guess, based on the quote from [checks Wikipedia] American philosopher Irwin Edman, that this is going to be the moment when Ashlee finally abandons her materialistic ways and loves Drew for who he is, rather than what he can buy her. But I dearly want her to explode in a jealous rage instead, shouting “I don’t care if she’s eight years old, no little bitch is going to get her hands on my man! Do you think he’s gonna Paypal you five grand, you skank? One hot coffee to the face, coming right up!”

Family Circus, 7/25/21

Oh, these “poor” little kids went on to do all sorts of amazing things, Billy — from serving in the military to making sweet music or beautiful art to working honest trades or even travelling into space. But the important thing to keep in mind is that no matter what they did in life, they’re all dead now, just like the school that nurtured them and was once full of life is now an empty ruin. Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.

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Thursday is for booze

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Gil Thorp, 7/22/21

So we’re still in the early, extremely manic phase of this Gil Thorp storyline, and there’s been lots of cutting back and forth between plots and little context for anything. So far the Heather Burns plot is easy enough to parse (a former Mudlark coming back to Milford and ending up with an almost certainly unpaid assistant coaching job is a long and storied tradition in this strip) but I’m not quite following what the deal is with Loud Golf Hat Man (he’s named “Carter Hendricks,” apparently). We know he’s (a) loud, (b) loves golf and saying golf jargon, (c) wears a hat, and (d) seems like a real asshole, and admittedly that last one is just a gut assessment from me but do you know who else was a solvent salesman? Del Bader, who liked a nightcap or two after a hard day of solvent sales and then ended up killing a beloved Mudlark with his car. Excited to see just how bad Carter’s gonna get!

Family Circus, 7/22/21

Can’t quite tell what Ma Keane’s facial expression is supposed to convey here. Is she imagining Billy going outside and wildly flailing at his various non-baseballs with that baseball bat, much to the embarrassment of everyone watching? Or is she thinking, “Yeah, sure, you’re dad’s a workaholic, that’s it”?

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Defiant children

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Family Circus, 7/5/21

Happy 4th of July (Observed), everybody! On this sacred holiday, I have some news for you: The Keane Kids are America. Jeffy, in particular, is America. Doing something the stupidest possible way, and initially everyone is horrified and embarrassed by you, but then you end up winning, even though you’ve broken all the rules and you don’t “technically” win and everyone things you’re an idiot, but you’ve still won in every way that matters? That’s America, to me, and I think it’s beautiful.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/5/12

OK, this is a twist that I did not see coming and I kind of love it? For Sarah, engaging in creative work wasn’t meant to be part of a path to fame and fortune! She merely hoped to egg others into creating their own work in a shared universe, producing a virtuous cycle in which we all have more content to enjoy! Thanks to the weird stasis of comic-book time, Sarah, who has been a child for literally decades, probably has a vague memory of the glory days of fanfic group blogs on LiveJournal or whatever, but now lives in a sterile world of hypermonetization that her old soul rejects.