Archive: Fast Track

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Fast Track, Judge Parker, and Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/13/20

“Well, this worldwide coronavirus pandemic is going to affect people’s ability to travel or gather in large groups, and is even modifying how we greet each other, but probably the whole world won’t be on lockdown with most economic activity suspended by the time these strips run!” –newspaper comic strip creators a few weeks ago, apparently

Between Friends, 4/13/20

“The worldwide coronavirus pandemic will have the greatest impact on our most vulnerable population: horny people who rely on business travel to hook up with sex partners.” –the creators of Between Friends, keeping their eyes on the real issues, as usual

Mark Trail, 4/13/20

I very much love that the Crowleys feel like they have to make a stirring emotional appeal here, rather than just saying, “Well, society frowns on it when you just leave a little boy to die in the woods.” And, you know, I get it! Have you seen Kevin?

Dennis the Menace, 4/13/20

We’ve discussed Dennis’s tentative journey towards literacy before, so now I’m spending a lot more time than I really should contemplating why Dennis sitting at the feet of a girl he normally loudly claims to be unable to stand, waiting for her to do something for him he could probably do himself, and I’m feeling personally menaced by the answers I’m coming up with and what it portends for their relationship post-puberty!

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Drabble and Fast Track, 3/6/06

I’m not sure why tone-deaf technology jokes enrage me so much, but they sure do. Today’s Drabble and Fast Track (two mostly harmless strips I’ve added to my repertoire) represent a painful subset of this joke: the kids who know technology better than their parents! Oooh, edgy!

You know who really knows how to use high-tech better than the average Joe? Deaf people. No, hear me out (ha ha): Once a good friend of mine had his family in town, and they all came over to my place to watch the X-Files. His little sister is deaf, and I started to apologize for not having a TV that did close captioning, but before I could get halfway into a sentence, Asha (my friend’s sister) picked up the remote and BAM BAM BAM there were all these crazy menus on the screen that I had never seen before and hey presto everything was closed captioned. Which was awesome not only because Asha could then enjoy the X-Files with the rest of us, but because throughout the entire creepy whistling theme music, the close captioning put all these little music notes all over the screen. Very charming. Anyhoo, apparently a lot of young deaf kids are super duper tech savvy because the Internet and some hidden features in a lot of home electronics make it easier to get by without hearing. I challenge any and all cartoonists reading this to make humorous hay out of this. Go on. Do it in a classy and funny way and I’ll be deeply impressed.

On this subject (technology, not deaf people), I provide a shameless plug for another off-blog thing I’m doing: I’m supplying a “Geek Comic of the Week” write-up over at every Monday. I’m a darn comics analysis franchise already!

Also: today’s DRMMDGIJ™:

Seriously, there is absolutely nothing I can say that would make this any gayer.