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Panel from Slylock Fox, 1/15/17

Yeah, yeah, a member of the bemulletèd Rat family is about to attempt another harebrained robbery, this time at a snooty restaurant so he can combine his theft with class vengeance, but here’s the comic that I want to see: Max attempting to eat his corn on the cob with a fork and knife, while Slylock looks on silently with increasing contempt.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/15/17

Ahhh, Funky Winkerbean marriage in a nutshell. Panel one: heavy-lidded emotional ennui. Panels two through five: horrified panic at the prospect of having to live through your few remaining years alone. Panel six: Hilarious misunderstanding, back to the ennui.

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Hey guys, a couple reminders/updates for you re: the new site design:

That’s it for now! Enjoy, and let me know if you’re having troubles!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/11/17

Haha, this is just a little game Loweezy and Elviney like to play with each other! In fact, ever since the widespread social and economic collapse several generations back that left Hootin’ Holler completely isolated from whatever other pockets of civilization might still survive, no tropical crops like “coffee” or “tea” have ever been seen by the locals. Elviney and Loweezy are drinking a barely palatable homebrew, made from bark and roots, just like they do every morning, giving it the whimsical names of the exotic beverages they only know about from tattered books.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/11/17

You know, they say that when you write a “continuity” strip, you have to work on the assumption that your readers only actually check in three or four days a week, which is why you get the repetition I routinely mock here. Today’s Funky Winkerbean really plays with that expectation; if you hadn’t seen yesterday’s strip, you’d assume from the first panel that Cliff Anger and his girlfriend had just finished up a vigorous and fully clothed lovemaking session after a long hiatus, only to discover in panel two that in fact they were just speaking extremely unnaturally about eating a meal in a restaurant. If you had seen yesterday’s strip, though, you’d assume they’d just finished up a vigorous and fully clothed lovemaking session at Los Angeles’s famous Brown Derby restaurant, an act that would’ve been frowned upon even in the club’s wild heyday. Panel two probably came as a great relief!

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Curtis, 1/10/17

Oh, look, it’s our favorite team of bullies, Derrick and “Onion”! Wait, what? When did “Onion” lose his quote marks? Did he finally get his name legally changed to Onion? Has that reaffirmed his sense of self-worth and caused a corresponding slip in his bullying game, resulting in the team’s extremely half-assed transition from “did you have a good weekend” to “your mom is fat and has a nickname like a noise a cow makes, even though you would never actually call a cow that?” These guys might as well turn to cyber-bullying because their IRL bullying is not worth the effort anymore!

Funky Winkerbean, 1/10/17

There’s no way around this: I’m about to combine two different kinds of terrible people you can be, namely “Oooh, I’ve lived in a glamorous city for a couple years and now I’m a big expert” and “Oooh, I’ve spotted a continuity error in a comic strip,” but: there haven’t been any Brown Derby Restaurants open in LA in years, guys. The last surviving example of the distinctive domed building has long been incorporated into a Koreatown strip mall; some other company long ago bought the rights to the brand name and operates several Brown Derbies in Northeastern Ohio (NATCH), but those locations are just in generic suburban structures, so that’s not where they are either. Because I choose not to view this as an outright error, though, I’m going to suggest that Cliff and his girlfriend have finally gone fully senile, and that this is their romantic delusion as they actually stumble into a grubby KFC somewhere in East Hollywood.

Mark Trail, 1/10/17

Damn it Mark, Woods & Wildlife Magazine is the only serious publication left dedicated to longform reporting on environmental issues, now that Rupert Murdoch owns National Geographic! I will not have you shifting its editorial focus to all those times you almost got blown up, just to grab fleeting web traffic!

Marvin, 1/10/17

I guess today’s Marvin punchline is a play on words about this? I hate to say this, but maybe the strip should stick to poop jokes.

Mary Worth, 1/10/17

Reminder: Even in a Mary Worth plot that’s about a hot sex affair between an older woman and a hip young person, the way that hip young person is going to talk about sex will be more awkward than you can possibly imagine.