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Dick Tracy, 10/30/16

I was a little dubious when Dick Tracy introduced what I assume is supposed to be a Millennial character, a guy who is a narcissist and keeps taking selfies and also is named “Selfy Narcisse.” But now it turns out that he regularly takes his car out on sweet jumps over drawbridges right as they open? I guess the kids are at least somewhat all right, after all!

Funky Winkerbean, 10/30/16

Whoops, seems I totally failed to recognize Cindy in yesterday’s strip! Anyway, Cindy and Mason are definitely not living in a world of denial that will soon be shattered by the inevitable progress of time, at all.

Hi and Lois, 10/30/16

Ha ha, it’s funny because Lois is wracked with anxiety that for some reason is manifesting itself as jack o’ lantern perfectionism, and it’s so bad that her entire family is scared and upset!

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Hagar the Horrible, 10/29/16

“More stomachs!! Each larger than the last!! My gut distending grotesquely as the innumerable extra organs writhe unnaturally within me, groaning as they funnel massive amounts of food into my single small intestine, which can’t handle the load! But I keep shoving chicken wings down my gullet, bones and all! I’m insatiable!!” Haha, more like Hagar the Body-Horror-ible, am I right?

Mark Trail, 10/29/16

So, months later, I’m still kind of grumpy about Mark’s interminable cave adventure. But if that massive, record-breaking ant mount were to suddenly burst open into a seething mass of red ants, which flows towards a terrified Mark and Abbey like an awful, chitinous wave — well, would I consider that just compensation? Yes, yes I would.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/29/16

Far away, at an island resort, the head of R&D at Riddell Helmets watched the event on her phone and smiled. This should keep up the flow of money to our department, she thought to herself. Might as well go ahead and reserve the honeymoon suite for next year now.

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Six Chix, 10/26/16

Happy early Halloween from Six Chix, everybody! I note that these pumpkin-people’s heads and arms are the same bright orange color, which I take to indicate that they are similar in substance and consistency. What prospect do you find spoooookier?

• That their whole bodies are tough and durable, like pumpkin’s shell, which means that every time they move their outer layer grinds painfully and loudly against itself
• That their whole bodies are soft and pliant, like ordinary flesh, even their huge, bulbous heads

Your answer may hinge on how you believe the pumpkin-beings’ faces manifest. Do they merely appear when one of them finally determines the emotion they want to express? Or must they be carved, with a knife?

Funky Winkerbean, 10/26/16

Ha ha, angry rage maniac Bull Bushka’s brain is so battered that his angry rage mania is now an integral part of his personality, says his wife, who has to share a house with him and his irrational violent outbursts all the time now that he’s retired! This isn’t setting up teeth-grindingly awful and tragic storyline for the future, at all!

Pluggers, 10/26/16

You’re a plugger if you don’t just hate reading but try to shame your spouse for liking it.