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Funky Winkerbean, 11/16/21

Remember how after the big post-Lisa’s-death Funky Winkerbean time jump, all the promotional material around the strip said it was going to push its aging cast into the background and focus more on a whole new set of teen characters to get back to its roots as a high school trip? Well, that very obviously never happened, possibly because it turns out that the average age of a newspaper comics reader is well within the range of Social Security eligibility, a group that intensely hates and fears teens. To cater to that demographic, the strip appears to be paying more and more attention to the generation older than the original cast. Like Funky’s dad, for instance! You remember him, right? His whole deal is that he’s enfeebled to the extent that Funky put him in a home, but he’s also very horny? This church choir story just took a turn, is what I’m saying, a horny, horny turn.

Dustin, 11/16/21

You ever wonder if Dustin’s family gets so sick of Dustin’s dad that they just tell him he has to leave and be insufferable at someone else for a few hours? Well, turns out they do, I’m pleased to report!

Beetle Bailey, 11/16/21

Remember earlier this year, when we learned that in addition to being an amiable moron, Zero is a terrifyingly efficient killing machine? Well, today we find out that he thinks shooting someone in the head is what sex is! Ha ha, look how satisfied he looks in panel two.

Gil Thorp, 11/16/21

How “enh” has this fall’s Gil Thorp plot been? We’ve finally got to the big twist, and it’s that … Tevin has been receiving qualified care from a professional therapist, and that helped him more than YouTube hypnosis! You can tell the kids are as bored as we are because they’re just stone cold going nuts about it, or maybe just because someone is standing on a table. “Hold on, Karl,” says Coach Kaz says. “Someone using a piece of furniture for something other than its intended purpose? This is interesting!”

Mary Worth, 11/16/21

oh my god it worked Wilbur scared off Dr. Ed with his aggressive karaoke violence, I don’t know if I’m furious or very impressed

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Mary Worth, 11/11/21

Wilbur continues to moderately out-hip Estelle in his choice of music, turning for his next number to Gotye’s 2011 hit “Somebody That I Used To Know,” an indie rock ditty that frankly cannot sustain the weight of the obvious aggression Wilbur is displaying in his stance here. I trust we’re all continuing to enjoy this as we contemplate the big questions, like why Estelle chose to sit directly in front of the karaoke stage, or why Dr. Ed hasn’t left yet, but I’m kind of tickled that Mary is so clearly not enjoying this. Not that I wish ill on our gal exactly, but the star-crossed Estelle-Wilbur pairing is in fact 100% her fault, and a little light karaoke combat is the least of what she deserves for making it happen.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/11/21

So one of the parishioners at the church where Harry is now the choir director wanted a New Orleans-style jazz funeral, but the church and/or the deceased’s family are way too cheap to actually hire a jazz band, so instead they’re going to try to make the church choir do it. This leads to today’s third panel, which I admit I don’t fully understand but it seems to involve Harry raging against God Himself for putting him in this predicament, which, honestly, is a fair reaction.

Baby Blues, 11/11/21

The COVID-19 pandemic has killed millions worldwide, disrupted economic activity for close to two years, and polarized our politics beyond what most of us imagined possible, but let’s not ignore the real horror: it’s caused some of us to pack on a few unsightly pounds, amiright ladies

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Daddy Daze, 10/23/21

Looks like the Daddy Daze daddy died doing what he loved: projecting his weird esoteric internal monologue onto the nonsensical babbling of the Daddy Daze baby. (He died when the Daddy Daze baby murdered him for his own inscrutable and unrelated reasons.)

Funky Winkerbean, 10/23/21

“In fact, I feel like I’m sort of moving past Lisa, and getting a little bored with thinking about her all the time. Specifically her death. Not really getting much mileage out of her death anymore, emotionally. Say, how’s your health? Feeling a little under the weather?”

Mary Worth, 10/23/21

Ha ha, just imagine if Wilbur had been forced to say “I don’t know what made me call you my ex’s name” while he was having s[I am felled by a single sniper’s gunshot to the head before I can finish typing this horrible sentence]