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Funky Winkerbean, 11/16/21

Remember how after the big post-Lisa’s-death Funky Winkerbean time jump, all the promotional material around the strip said it was going to push its aging cast into the background and focus more on a whole new set of teen characters to get back to its roots as a high school trip? Well, that very obviously never happened, possibly because it turns out that the average age of a newspaper comics reader is well within the range of Social Security eligibility, a group that intensely hates and fears teens. To cater to that demographic, the strip appears to be paying more and more attention to the generation older than the original cast. Like Funky’s dad, for instance! You remember him, right? His whole deal is that he’s enfeebled to the extent that Funky put him in a home, but he’s also very horny? This church choir story just took a turn, is what I’m saying, a horny, horny turn.

Dustin, 11/16/21

You ever wonder if Dustin’s family gets so sick of Dustin’s dad that they just tell him he has to leave and be insufferable at someone else for a few hours? Well, turns out they do, I’m pleased to report!

Beetle Bailey, 11/16/21

Remember earlier this year, when we learned that in addition to being an amiable moron, Zero is a terrifyingly efficient killing machine? Well, today we find out that he thinks shooting someone in the head is what sex is! Ha ha, look how satisfied he looks in panel two.

Gil Thorp, 11/16/21

How “enh” has this fall’s Gil Thorp plot been? We’ve finally got to the big twist, and it’s that … Tevin has been receiving qualified care from a professional therapist, and that helped him more than YouTube hypnosis! You can tell the kids are as bored as we are because they’re just stone cold going nuts about it, or maybe just because someone is standing on a table. “Hold on, Karl,” says Coach Kaz says. “Someone using a piece of furniture for something other than its intended purpose? This is interesting!”

Mary Worth, 11/16/21

oh my god it worked Wilbur scared off Dr. Ed with his aggressive karaoke violence, I don’t know if I’m furious or very impressed