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Archive: Funky Winkerbean

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Was Zanzibar just hanging out by himself at the mansion when Cliff came and picked him up, or what

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Pajama Diaries, 7/16/19

I freely admit that it’s entirely irrational, but I’ve developed an extreme aversion to the strips where Pajama Diaries gets horny. Like, it’s not Luann-level distasteful, of course, but it still squicks me out, possibly because nobody actually talks like this. “Hey mom, be sure to make me a special second dinner for tonight, because after my dinner date I’m gonna go fuck somewhere, then come home later and eat that second dinner, because if there’s one thing having sex does it makes you hungry, right? Post-sex hunger is a thing? Because of all the sex exercise? This is exactly how I talk to my friends in my dorm, and I’ve definitely had sex before.”

Funky Winkerbean, 7/16/19

I dunno, man, in this flashback Young Cliff Anger looks less like a guy whose best friend just went to jail for a murder he didn’t commit and more like a guy who’s pretty jazzed to be the new owner of a chimpanzee named Zanzibar. Ha ha, the chimp is smoking a cigar and wearing a shirt! He thinks he’s people! Anyway, if Zanzibar turns out to be the real killer in this storyline, I’m willing to forgive a lot about the past few weeks in this strip.

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The bad boys of comics

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Dennis the Menace, 7/13/19

Usually the whole deal with this strip is that Dennis blabs something unpleasant that one of his parents said directly to the person who his parents blabbed unpleasantly about behind their back, and they always look real embarrassed about it but they never stop talking shit about other people in front of their big-mouth kid, now do they? The shy little smile on Henry here today shows that he’s finally admitting to himself that he secretly loves it when Dennis says the things that he dares not, and now he’s instigating these episodes deliberately, starting with Mr. Wilson, who seems safe because if he were going to attack Dennis or Henry physically, wouldn’t he have done it years ago at this point?

Funky Winkerbean, 7/13/19

“So he was only an accessory to murder, which is barely being a criminal at all!”

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I bet he had a lot of “Anger” about Kruschev’s revisionism

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Funky Winkerbean, 7/11/19

Ah ha, now we’re finding out why Cliff Anger, who was bosom buddies with Butter Brinkel, never spoke up about evidence he heard to clear his friend’s good name: that evidence came from the Pinkertons, a “detective agency” whose primary purpose in the late 19th and early 20th century was to bust unions and break strikes, often violently. Cliff, as an unrepentant Stalinist, simply refused to give any credence to information coming from private right-wing militias, no matter what the consequences for his pal.

Pluggers, 7/11/19

Oh my God, this is actually … a good idea? I read today’s Pluggers and immediately had the thought, “Well, for me it’s dark grey and black, but yes, I would do this?” Folks, today is the fifteenth anniversary of the very first post on this blog, and it’s also the day I clearly have begun to die. Farewell, I love you all!