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Archive: Gasoline Alley

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Young people annoy their elders

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Gasoline Alley, 4/6/23

Oh, hey, Ida Knoe the evil talking doll who can travel through time, wild that you’re only now worried about the consequences of disrupting the spacetime continuum! Maybe you should’ve thought of this before you time travelled with a bunch of children, who are notorious for being idiots. I’m talking about all children, not these ones in particular, and maybe “idiot” is a bit harsh but if you’re looking for someone with both the mental acuity to understand what will and what won’t change the course of history and the self-control to act on that understanding, a bunch of seven-year-olds is not your best bet.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/6/23

One of the funnier possibilities in this storyline is that Mud Mountain Murphy and Dr. Mirakle are entirely sincere and have just picked the worse possible venue for a long-established artist to unveil an entirely new repetoire/personality. Like, I don’t mean to talk smack about the great pastime of going on cruises, but I think the cruise lifestyle largely caters to people who want a certain nonthreatening consistency out of a vacation, and if you try to “mix things up” you will end up with patrons like Yvonne in panel three, literally praying to hear just one song she already knows the words to, just one.

Dennis the Menace, 4/6/23

Look, kid, the swinging can’t start until you go to bed already

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Monday quickies

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/27/23

SMASH CUT TO: a group of furious middle-aged cruise-goers dangling “Mud Mountain” Murphy off the side of the ship, threatening to let him drop into the sea unless he “plays the god-damned hits.”

Gasoline Alley, 3/27/23

SMASH CUT TO: The children all being trampled to death by Brig. Gen. Fitzhugh Lee’s Confederate cavalry division on day three of the Battle of Gettysburg, while Ida Knoe the evil doll sits in a tree, grinning down at them.

Shoe, 3/27/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because Skyler’s grim, depressing home life occasionally crosses over the line separating neglect from abuse!

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Perfect thing to mindlessly chew while staring at your phone

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Gasoline Alley, 3/25/23

Not that there’s much by way of competition, but Ida Knoe, the evil talking doll who can travel through time, is now officially my favorite character in the century-long history of Gasoline Alley. Today’s strip, in which she taunts these children into dangerous meddling in the timestream, really seals the deal. “What’s a matter, are you guys babies? Are you worried that you’re accidentally going to make Hitler president or make your parents mad? Don’t be chicken!”

Judge Parker, 3/25/23

Meanwhile, back in NYC, Sophie and Reena are getting into the latest big city fad, which is ordering pizza with nothing on it. No cheese, no sauce, no nothing, just a flat triangle of baked dough. “These kids today, they’re … they’re pure nihilists,” said the Village Voice’s food critic, sweating openly. “They don’t believe in anything anymore.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/25/23

Look, you might make fun of the inhabitants in Hootin’ Holler as “financially illiterate bumpkins,” but Snuffy just invented a new kind of lottery-based financial derivative, so maybe you need to start giving them some credit.