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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/27/23

SMASH CUT TO: a group of furious middle-aged cruise-goers dangling “Mud Mountain” Murphy off the side of the ship, threatening to let him drop into the sea unless he “plays the god-damned hits.”

Gasoline Alley, 3/27/23

SMASH CUT TO: The children all being trampled to death by Brig. Gen. Fitzhugh Lee’s Confederate cavalry division on day three of the Battle of Gettysburg, while Ida Knoe the evil doll sits in a tree, grinning down at them.

Shoe, 3/27/23

Ha ha, it’s funny because Skyler’s grim, depressing home life occasionally crosses over the line separating neglect from abuse!

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Gasoline Alley, 3/25/23

Not that there’s much by way of competition, but Ida Knoe, the evil talking doll who can travel through time, is now officially my favorite character in the century-long history of Gasoline Alley. Today’s strip, in which she taunts these children into dangerous meddling in the timestream, really seals the deal. “What’s a matter, are you guys babies? Are you worried that you’re accidentally going to make Hitler president or make your parents mad? Don’t be chicken!”

Judge Parker, 3/25/23

Meanwhile, back in NYC, Sophie and Reena are getting into the latest big city fad, which is ordering pizza with nothing on it. No cheese, no sauce, no nothing, just a flat triangle of baked dough. “These kids today, they’re … they’re pure nihilists,” said the Village Voice’s food critic, sweating openly. “They don’t believe in anything anymore.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/25/23

Look, you might make fun of the inhabitants in Hootin’ Holler as “financially illiterate bumpkins,” but Snuffy just invented a new kind of lottery-based financial derivative, so maybe you need to start giving them some credit.

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Crock, 3/16/23

A fun fact is that this is literally how World War I started — or, I guess, is literally why World War I couldn’t be stopped after it started even though everyone kind of knew it was a bad idea.

Gasoline Alley, 3/16/23

Ha ha, Ida Noe, the creepy talking doll, seems to know a thing or two about shaking a dead person’s hand! You can cover her mouth all you want, but ultimately you cannot stop her.

Judge Parker, 3/16/23

RANDY PARKER! He’s tanned, rested, and ready for this assignment. Like, really tanned. Leathery. He spent the entire period when he was off the bench in a high-powered tanning booth. Why did he do this to himself. Is he even human anymore, under all that tan???

Pluggers, 3/16/23

Ha ha, were you planning on spending the rest of your day not thinking about your tongue and how old it is? Well, too bad! And here you thought the only body horror Pluggers delivered was its parade of freakish man-animal hybrids.