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Gil Thorp, 4/12/22

Can’t believe it’s taken the Milford student-athlete body this long to figure out Coach Thorp’s main weaknesses: he isn’t very smart, and he doesn’t pay a lot of attention to any of his specific individual coachees. If you can trick him into forming a positive opinion of you during a ritual reciting of the names, you’ve got a real leg up!

Gasoline Alley, 4/12/22

Dick Tracy and Gasoline Alley are both syndicated by Tribune Publishing, and with everyone trying to exploit in-house IP to the max these days, it should come as no surprise to see innovative experiments in crossover content synergy like this week’s rapidly escalating Dick Tracy porno. Tribune also owns Gil Thorp, so don’t be surprised to see another special erotic guest star by the end of the week.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/12/22

Ha ha, it’s funny because … poor public health infrastructure has resulted in Hootin’ Holler being ravaged by infectious disease? And it’s hit the children the hardest? That’s the punchline?

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/22

Ahh, we have now discovered what type of superhero Rex’s patient is pretending to be: the fancy kind! What’s it to him, ruffian? The man is wearing a cravat! Clearly he’s an important gentleman and is fully authorized to pose car-ownership questions to all and sundry! Stand down, you cur!

Gil Thorp, 4/11/22

The contours of the spring Gil Thorp storyline are taking shape: tennis star Charis (?) is dating baseball trivia nut Eli “E” “Scooter” Borden. Is it possible he loves baseball trivia … too much? More than he loves his tennis star girlfriend or not being called “Eli”? Stay tuned!

Gasoline Alley, 4/11/22

“Why is Dick Tracy still published in newspaper comics sections?” you’ve probably asked yourself, repeatedly. Well, today’s Gasoline Alley has the answer: the older female demographic that makes up an important part of the comics audience is extremely horny for him. The mystery of why Gasoline Alley is still published in the newspaper remains unsolved, but they’re going to do a whole plotline with Dick Tracy in it, just to be on the safe side.

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Shoe, 3/30/22

The thing about Shoe is that the bird-people have varying character designs that involve varying amounts of clothing. Some are fully clothed; some, like Shoe himself, are naked; and others, like the Perfesser, are only naked from the waist down. This is, honestly, fine, because they’re bird-people and it really doesn’t matter how naked they are, but it becomes much worse when you learn the Perfesser used to wear pants but then he got too big for them and instead of buying a different size he just stopped. Can you imagine if people did this? These birds are lucky they’re birds!

Dennis the Menace, 3/30/22

Dennis is the Chosen One of our omnipotent God, and He will support and defend Dennis no matter what, even if his behavior is so beyond the pale that his friends all reject him. Menace level: infinite.

Gasoline Alley, 3/30/22

Trying to think of a response to “Where have you two been” that’s creepier than “In our skin.” “You know, we’ve just been in here with all the blood and organs sloshing around. That’s all we are, really! Just a bunch of meat in a thin wrapper. What’ve you been up to?”

Pluggers, 3/30/22

Not sure if the normally happy go lucky readers of Pluggers are ready for today’s strip, which delivers the tough news that the plugger-wives are now BARREN