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Archive: Gil Thorp

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Wednesday quickies

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Hagar the Horrible, 11/14/18

You know there’s an “uncensored” version of this where Sven is out there pulling gold teeth out of corpses, and that armor glove at the right in panel two is a severed hand. Honestly, given the level of editorial oversight the syndicated comics have seen lately, that probably could’ve run in the paper and nobody would’ve noticed.

Gil Thorp, 11/14/18

Sadly, this plotline continues to spiral downward away from wacky hijinks, and today has reached the depressing end state of far too many Gil Thorp plots, where Gil And Kaz Solemnly Decide To Do The Right Thing Even Though It’ll Cost Them. BORING!

Mark Trail, 11/14/18

Oh, hey, you’re probably wondering what’s going on in Mark Trail! Specifically, you’re probably wondering “Is Rusty’s mouth becoming an increasingly puckered and inhuman orifice, a baffling and unnerving opening in his face-flesh?” I regret to inform you that the answer is yes.

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Unpleasantly delicious Tuesday

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Blondie, 11/13/18

One of the more unpleasant transformations of Dagwood Bumstead over the years has been the process by which we’ve moved from “Ha ha, Dagwood sure likes to eat comically large sandwiches!” to “Dagwood is an Appetite who lives to Consume.” Today’s strip is particularly disturbing: Dagwood has, for as long as he can remember, been uniquely able to communicate with turkeys in their own language. Does this give him more empathy for the majestic birds? No. Seeing into their minds, understanding their desires, hearing their pleas for mercy — to Dagwood, that only makes them more delicious.

Gil Thorp, 11/13/18

Welp, it looks like the vaguely exciting notion of Tiki being an imposter has given way to the much duller reality of Tiki’s family engaging in low-level fraud. The final panel makes the completely implausible suggestion that the Milford athletic department somehow has higher standards than the rest of the school administration.

Marvin, 11/13/18

Sometimes Marvin does half-assed plots or at least “theme” weeks, so let me just assure you that nothing like that is happening here! There was no setup or anything yesterday for this: a comic where a toddler has been thrown into a cage full of angry feral dogs who are probably seconds away from eating him.

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Catchup Thursday

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Family Circus, 11/8/18

Ha ha, I love how smug that frog looks. “That’s right, buddy, you better back the heck off. There’s no way to be sure about my royal status. Unless you want to kiss me? No? You don’t want to kiss me? Guess I’ll be on my way, then. See ya, chumps!”

Gil Thorp, 11/8/18

Oh wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the Gil Thorp football season, huh? I guess it’s because it’s been super boring, with the month since we learned that Tiki is often late for mysterious sister-related reasons mostly taken up by two of Tiki’s less dim teammates slowly piecing together that Tiki seems unfamiliar with the major landmarks around his supposed residence and may not live in Milford at all. Anyway, today the Gil Thorp creative team apparently noticed we’re more than a week into November and we need to start wrapping this up, because suddenly we got a lot of exciting info, maybe implying that Tiki isn’t really who he says at all! An imposter! A changeling! A 32-year-old investigative reporter who’s writing a longform piece on America’s most mediocre high school football programs! The possibilities are endless and really quite cinematic, which makes it too bad that the other football season plot, the one about the irritating cineaste punter, is going nowhere just as fast.

Judge Parker, 11/18/18

Oh, wow, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on Judge Parker, huh? Well, here’s what’s going on in Judge Parker: Judge Parker Senior is going to jail, finally.