Archive: Gil Thorp

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Gil Thorp, 11/19/18

Ah ha, it’s classic Gil, expressing shock that a kid with a decent haircut and middle-class clothes might be connected to wrongdoing, somehow! Remember when a wholly legal tattoo parlor opened in Milford and Gil destroyed it for no good reason? Anyway, I’m enjoying the fact that we’re getting this exposition dump during Coach Thorp and Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp’s desultory countryside jog. And speaking of Mimi, isn’t there some girls’ sport that shares a season with football that we could be seeing her handle instead of dealing with this snoozefest? Gymnastics? Volleyball? I’d definitely enjoy watching how varying growth spurts between freshman and sophomore year affected the tactical and emotional dynamics of the Spiking Lady Mudlarks a lot more than trying to figure out what classic French New Wave film Kaz is going to try and fail to compare to Tiki’s residency situation.

Dick Tracy, 11/19/18

It has come to our attention that the previous twist in this storyline, which involved faxing, was deemed “dangerously exciting” by many core members of the Dick Tracy readership. We are pleased to announce that the strip will henceforth be focusing on the minutia of contract law, with a special focus on payment terms.

Mary Worth, 11/19/18

“You see, we’ve gotten reports of an older gentleman who’s been manipulating people into helping him adopt shelter dogs and then … well, there’s no easy way to say this … eating them. Short, wears a bow tie? Have you seen anyone who fits that description?”

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Hagar the Horrible, 11/14/18

You know there’s an “uncensored” version of this where Sven is out there pulling gold teeth out of corpses, and that armor glove at the right in panel two is a severed hand. Honestly, given the level of editorial oversight the syndicated comics have seen lately, that probably could’ve run in the paper and nobody would’ve noticed.

Gil Thorp, 11/14/18

Sadly, this plotline continues to spiral downward away from wacky hijinks, and today has reached the depressing end state of far too many Gil Thorp plots, where Gil And Kaz Solemnly Decide To Do The Right Thing Even Though It’ll Cost Them. BORING!

Mark Trail, 11/14/18

Oh, hey, you’re probably wondering what’s going on in Mark Trail! Specifically, you’re probably wondering “Is Rusty’s mouth becoming an increasingly puckered and inhuman orifice, a baffling and unnerving opening in his face-flesh?” I regret to inform you that the answer is yes.

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Blondie, 11/13/18

One of the more unpleasant transformations of Dagwood Bumstead over the years has been the process by which we’ve moved from “Ha ha, Dagwood sure likes to eat comically large sandwiches!” to “Dagwood is an Appetite who lives to Consume.” Today’s strip is particularly disturbing: Dagwood has, for as long as he can remember, been uniquely able to communicate with turkeys in their own language. Does this give him more empathy for the majestic birds? No. Seeing into their minds, understanding their desires, hearing their pleas for mercy — to Dagwood, that only makes them more delicious.

Gil Thorp, 11/13/18

Welp, it looks like the vaguely exciting notion of Tiki being an imposter has given way to the much duller reality of Tiki’s family engaging in low-level fraud. The final panel makes the completely implausible suggestion that the Milford athletic department somehow has higher standards than the rest of the school administration.

Marvin, 11/13/18

Sometimes Marvin does half-assed plots or at least “theme” weeks, so let me just assure you that nothing like that is happening here! There was no setup or anything yesterday for this: a comic where a toddler has been thrown into a cage full of angry feral dogs who are probably seconds away from eating him.