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Gil Thorp, 5/11/16

I think we’re finally figuring out the theme this spring’s Gil Thorp storyline, everybody. The Baders père et fil are going to learn the value of teamwork. For instance, it’s unseemly to get too excited about your individual performance in a game where your team got shellacked. Similarly, all of us on the public roads are on a team together, and a good way to let your team down is to get real drunk and swerve all over the road. Anyway, get used to talking to your dad through some kind of barrier, kid!

Marvin, 5/11/16

I have to imagine that one of the most satisfying things about being a daily cartoonist is your ability to get your revenge on anyone, at any time, as long as that time is the six-to-eight week publishing lead time after the thing you want revenge for has happened. “Oh, there’s going to be a comic about this. Maybe multiple comics,” you think, silently, in your mind, as you glare at the person you’re mad at. “You will be depicted in an extremely unflattering light!” The person never finds out because literally nobody reads the comics anymore, but you know. You know.

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Curtis, 5/6/16

So Heart-Throb’s video clears Curtis and Chutney and all is well. Say, I can’t tell whether Principal Washington is sporting a turban or dreadlocks there. If I were Derrick or “Onion” I’d be concerned: will this be settled at the point of his kirpan, or amicably over a gigantic spliff?

Gil Thorp, 5/6/16

And a nickname is born — two days too late for May the Forth be with you. Shucks.

Phantom, 5/6/16

The Captain learns Phantom is on his own side
And he’s happy to have him along for the ride.
The intel will help him do damage control
And he owes every byte to the Jungle Patrol!

Patrolmen are hayseeds and yokels and hicks
But they know one or two de-encryptioning tricks —
If you don’t mind manure on the drives that they stole
You can outsource IT to the Jungle Patrol!

Mary Worth, 5/6/16

Conflict, AT LAST!

“Not to study”? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Spider-Man, 5/6/16

Xandu wants a queen, but he needs a decorator.

Just a reminder not to wait up in anticipation of Comments of the Week from me – enjoy Dagger’s genitalic hooks for another week!

– Uncle Lumpy

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Sally Forth, 5/4/16

In this up-to-the-minute retelling of The Producers, Ted acknowledges his unique talent for failure and conspires with Hilary to throw the season. But where will they find wealthy backers and dancing Nazis? I like the way this is shaping up.

Gil Thorp, 5/4/16

Diminutive second baseman Barry Bader follows his dad’s advice, “Never give an inch,” by arguing with everybody from Coach Kaz to fellow infielder Ken Brown here, about everything. Dad, industrial solvents salesman Del Bader, needs some arguments of his own to convince Center City Judge Lisa “Hang ’em” Hiatt, nemesis of the inebriated motorist, to let him walk despite blowing twice the legal limit into a Breathalyzer during a traffic stop (Psst … “It was the solvents, Your Honor – alcohol is one of them!”).

Phantom, 5/4/16

Looks like second-string terrorist Eric “The Nomad” Sahara is financing Dumat’s plot to destabilize Baronkhan and dethrone Prince Rex King, who should be dethroned and pantsed just for walking around with that name.

– Uncle Lumpy