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Gil Thorp, 10/2/12

If there’s one thing I genuinely love about Gil Thorp, it’s that it keeps track of a bewildering cast of characters who stick around over multiple storylines. At the end of the summer storyline, Gil offered embittered one-armed Milford alum Steve an unpaid coaching gig of the sort that he often hands out to the strip’s over-18 hangers-on. In a lesser strip, this would have been the resolution to Steve’s storyline and we would have quickly forgotten about him, but instead we see that this tiny modicum of power has transformed him into a cultish dictator. “We move together,” he shouts, waving his single fist in the air, “as one unit, one people. We hear the count in our mind before it is uttered. We present an unbroken wall of flesh to our enemies. We leave behind any family who may have once loved us, as we are all the family we need. After practice, each of you will chop off the arm of the man to your right, to make our union as real as the flesh and blood we sacrifice to the greater good.”

Mary Worth, 10/2/12

Haha, Mary Worth is really gunning hard for a spot on The Discovery Channel’s History’s Greatest Monsters this season! “Mary, my friendship with Jim is based on shared interests and experiences, not any sort of pity I have for him because of his injuries.” “That’s nice, dear, but have you considered that Jim is a charity case and that your friendship is a precious gift to him, much more valuable than his is to you? Don’t think of him as a person; think of him as an opportunity to give of yourself selflessly and condescendingly. Remember, he only has one arm!”

Apartment 3-G, 10/2/12

Not to go on too much about my “process” or anything, but when I made jokes yesterday about Evan cowering unseen in the corner while Margo and Greg bickered, it was funny because of course he wasn’t actually in the room while this was all happening! That would be super awkward! Except, um, apparently he was? Today’s first panel dialogue also nicely heads off any further jokes I might make about Margo and Evan’s twisted S&M relationship. Anyway, my point is that Apartment 3-G is getting dangerously close to producing self-aware camp and putting me out of business.

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Mark Trail, 9/24/12

I had almost forgotten that Rusty had blabbed to Cherry and Doc about the sheep-killing miscreants, which I think is understandable because it’s natural to assume that even Rusty’s adopted family would want to keep interactions with him to a minimum. But anyway, this explains my initial confusion at Cherry calling the men stealing away her ward as “poachers” rather than, say, “kidnappers.”

Though considering the Trails’ wildlife focus and their apparent refusal to legally adopt Rusty or send him off to school or anything one normally does with a child, perhaps poaching is a good word for what Cherry thinks is happening here. “Oh, no, those poachers have got the Rusty! It’s a particularly ugly specimen so it’s not much of a trophy, but its pelt and gallbladder could probably sell for good money on the black market.”

Gil Thorp, 9/24/12

Whoah, you guys, it turns out that Irish people don’t just call cookies “biscuits”; they also have different parenting styles! I see some cross-cultural misunderstanding hijinks in the making here. Is the lesson of this fall plot going to be “American teens have their souls crushed because their parents don’t want them to die” or “foreigners don’t love their children enough to smother them”? Or will we lose interest three quarters of the way through the season when the Mudlarks make a half-assed run at the playdowns?

Marmaduke, 9/24/12

I have to admit, I’ve been reading Marmaduke for years and never knew that the next-door neighbor guy’s name was “Snyder.” Do you think that’s always been the case or that the cartoonist finally decided to give him a distinct identity within the strip? Oh, also, the dark light of a thousand demons is about to start radiating out of Marmaduke’s skull, so all humans need to cower indoors if they want to survive.

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Gil Thorp, 9/17/12

“Let’s put it this way … we only have one bonfire, and it burns forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Constant human sacrifice is necessary to keep the sacred flames alive, but we consider this a small price to pay for its numinous protection. Surely your own Druid ancestors would approve! Oh, yeah, and, like, we get all jazzed up about football too, I guess. But mostly we’re into the searing fire of divine grace.”

Slylock Fox, 9/17/12

Oh, Slylock! Your fancy science knowledge might explain why those balloons popped, but elementary physics will never help you understand why this innocent birthday party for children so quickly turned into a scene of vicious adult accusations and recriminations.

Marmaduke, 9/17/12

Marmaduke has finally succeeded in digging a hole back to the hell-dimension from which he was long ago exiled, and now he plans to climb down a ladder he stole from a fireman he ate and reclaim his awful kingdom.

Ziggy, 9/17/12

The mice who live in Ziggy’s walls are really into whip-its, but tonight things have gotten out of hand.

Wizard of Id, 9/17/12

Sir Rodney’s date caught a venereal disease from a frog.