Metapost: Ontario days, Tarzana nights! (Plus: COTW)
Post Content
Well, sprinting through three days of comics in only a few hours was fun, but now I must wrap up the evening’s activities with your comments of the week. I promise not to leave you to your own devices for so long until Christmas! But before we hit the week’s top comments, I have a little merch plugging to do. Faithful reader Dingo writes:
I was the grand prize winner of the Canada Great Outdoors contest and won a weeklong fishing trip to northwest Ontario for me and a guest. I took my father. The highlight is that we weren’t just fishing; we were fishing with Babe Winkelman and it was being videotaped for one of his shows. The episode will air sometime in January. I, of course, could not pass up the opportunity to wear Curmudgeon clothing.
That’s an official Gail Martin t-shirt, which Dingo himself designed (see here for the backstory). And now the shirt (and its creator!) will be on the TV! How exciting!
But perhaps even more exciting is … the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!
“Wow, Rusty … Sassy stopped publishing, like, 14 years ago. Someone should break it to the kid. Gently.” –UnknownEric
And the runners up! Super thrilling!
“WTF is up with Toby’s face? Was ‘the trip to Scotland’ really code for ‘went for a facelift by a barber in Tijuana’?” –Farley’s Revenge
“West View Singles are highly heteronormative. Your options are ‘man seeking a woman,’ ‘woman seeking a man,’ ‘depressed loser seeking a cancer patient,’ or ‘widow/er seeking misery.’ There is no ‘person seeking cancer’ as everybody there is soon to get it anyway. But are we to believe there are no gay people in West View? Maybe they all buggered off, figuring that if ‘gay’ has any connection to ‘happy,’ they’d best get out of town.” –Les of the Jungle Patrol
“What could possibly be on (the habitually-unemployed) Ziggy’s resume? ‘Hostility Sponge (1968 – present). Duties include soaking up the anger and resentment of my fellow human beings, essentially acting as a sentient Sham-Wow for the negativity and alienation of the modern world. Special skills include not killing myself.'” –Joe Blevins
“The very next panel from Apartment 3-G better be Margo rising from her coffin. I will accept nothing less.” –spazmodeas
“Dagwood is a slender man who consumes 3000+ calorie sandwiches in one sitting. I’m thinking there was more than just caffeine in his regular coffee.” –skullcrusherjones
“My fingernails are made of … tightly matted hair? Like on my head? Excuse me, I have to go throw up like 50,000 times.” –Chyron HR
“All I can say about today’s Mark Trail is that one’s pupils should never, ever be larger one’s ears.” –Alan’s Addiction
“Jittery?? Haha. Not me. Why, what have you heard? Blondie was fine when I left. Did something happen to her? What? I’m just wondering. How do you get blood stains out of a carpet? No reason. Hey, who’s got a sandwich? Haha. Jittery. Me. Ha.” –Buddy Hopkins: Music Cartoons
“Isn’t ‘fishing trip’ code for ‘birds-and-bees talk’? I’m looking forward to several weeks of Mark explaining to Rusty that when a man loves a woman very much, he goes off into the woods to punch bearded men in the face.” –Dagger
“YES, RUSTY, IT IS TIME. LET US THINK ABOUT A FISHING TRIP. CLOSE YOUR EYES, COME WITH ME. YOU WILL SEE WHAT I SEE. DO YOU SEE THE STREAMS? STEP INTO THEM. DO YOU SEE THE GIANT FISH? SO FREE, SO PURE, THEIR LIVES ENTWINED WITH THE — SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THE — THE HOUSES, THE OTTERS DIVING IN, THE ONES WHO STAND BY AND ONLY FILM, LEFT IN THEIR…THEIR WASTE..LEFT BY THE…humans…The…ACK!..the, (PUNCH), yes, the free, fish…es….the PURE ONES, THE (so much waste, so much wasted waste) FLOATING ONES! DO YOU SEE? DO YOU SEE? NO….Facial…hair….
YOU WILL SEE I WILL SHOW YOU!
oh, don’t cry, don’t cry your face is smooth like the otter.YOUR FACE WILL ALWAYS BE OF THE OTTER!
oh dear god what have i done” –peabody
“After weeks of shameless plot-stretch to wrap up the tired saga of Delilah and Lawrence, we are now being treated to an extra bonus week of ‘Mary and Toeby talk about what already happened.’ I’d definitely read ‘Hey, Toeby, remember when you got your identity stolen from a phishing scam?’ ‘Mary, can we not talk about that?’ ‘But it was hilarious!'” –hogenmogen
“I pity those background characters [in Apartment 3-G], too, but at least they orbit bathed in the dark heat from Margo’s sun. Imagine what it must be like for, say, the blond guy who carpools with Dagwood.” –Uncle Lumpy
“Mary, I understand that you’re a-hundred-and-eighty-seven and all, but a black woolen jumper and a blouse buttoned up to your eyebrows still seems like an odd choice for a pool party. Were your ski mask and nun’s habit at the cleaners?” –Violet
“I was lucky. I had a PRO as a coach. Unlike you who had a negligent high school whistle-sucking moron whose inept coaching killed a promising career and created a stalker. Oh, too soon?” –Johnny Knuckles
“Keep working, young man. I like your arm! When you ruin it just like Marty did, I’ll buy it from you for a buck and put it in my display case.” –Steve S
“Also, Elwood’s cosplay interests are just bikini-clad ESPer warriors and not horrifying empty-eyed pig fursuits.” –commodorejohn
“‘Literally and figuratively’ is about as sexually explicit as I want my Mary Worth to be. It’s like I’m a teenager again and my mother is explaining the physical mechanics of intercourse in code so as not to embarrass herself by mentioning any actual body parts. I bet Tobey says ‘bajingo.'” –StoutHearted
“I thought it might be uncomfortable for Francis to lie on his stomach on the beach without a towel, until I realized he needed to dig a hole in the sand to hide his erection from Momma.” –Patrick
“Momma should just be glad that her sons are attracted to women with normal-shaped bodies. From the looks of the older generation, I’m pretty sure ‘Hobbs’ was shortened from ‘Hobbits’ by an immigration official on Ellis Island.” –BigTed
“Lois has to put little hearts and XOXO’s on her note, so she’ll be sure Hi knows she wants to have sex. Otherwise, Hi might say, ‘Start a family? How does one ‘start’ a family? Do you use a key? Or do you pull a cord, like on a lawnmower? And what do they do once you start them? So many questions! I think I’ll just go trim the hedges instead.'” –Perky Bird
I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.
