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Mary Worth, 2/20/23

This upcoming court battle is going to settle an important precedent: can legal action be taken against someone for stuff they do in your hallucinations and dreams? Normally this would seem to be a slam dunk to get thrown out of court immediately, but I can see a judge learning about Wilbur’s whole deal and gruffly saying “I’ll allow it,” then saying the same thing when the jury somehow imposes the death penalty.

Beetle Bailey, 2/20/23

Wordle was made public in October 2021, and went viral a couple months later when the ability to turn your results into an emoji grid was added. In other words, Beetle Bailey has name-checked a popular culture thing a mere 14 months after it entered popular culture, which is really shocking for a strip that only started depicting the Army as racially integrated in 1970.

Gil Thorp, 2/20/23

“Kaz leaving was a gut punch for me. Devastating. Something I’ll never get over. My best friend, gone, leaving a hole that can never be filled. Oh, wait, you’re asking about the team? They don’t really give a shit. They’re teenagers! I honestly don’t think they can tell most adults apart.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/20/23

Can you imagine if a guy you’d been seeing casually announced that he’s moving to be closer to you, but then mentions that he’s also doing it to be closer to Buck Wise? That’d be a real emotional roller coaster, and one that by rights ought to end either with a breakup or a written agreement that you never have to be in a room with Buck for more than ten minutes at a time.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Blondie, 2/14/23

One strip you could write off, but two? That’s a trend. Folks, if you didn’t get your beloved a slab of heart-shaped meat for Valentine’s Day this year, you need to think about what you did wrong and get ahead of the game in planning a meat-tastic 2/14/24. (Note: please only use a cut of meat shaped like a cartoon heart, not an actual animal or human heart, as that would be disgusting.)

Gil Thorp, 2/14/23

Speaking of romance, we last saw the Thorps holding onto their marriage for dear life despite obstacles like Mimi’s flirtatious golf coach. This Valentine’s Day, they’re going to revive their relationship the only way they know how: by trying to have sex as airliners come screaming in for a landing directly above them every four to nine minutes.

Beetle Bailey, 2/14/23

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny that Otto doesn’t want to smell Beetle’s socks, but I do want to point that there are generally only two circumstances where we have dogs try to figure out where people are, and those are “on the run from the law” and “probably dead.”

Mary Worth, 2/14/23

“I’m shopping! Just like you! Yep, exchanging money for goods and services sure is the name of the game, here in America!”

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Gil Thorp, 2/10/23

Huh, so I guess while Coach Martinez reigns supreme in football, in basketball he must answer to “Coach Kim,” who I assume his delivering his line here with gutting, icy disdain. The coaching hierarchy remains mysterious! Not exactly sure how Luke’s Thorbsession has led to today’s disastrous Valley Tech performance, though. Maybe the team had set aside one practice to master “not throwing the ball to the other team” but Luke never showed up because he was busy powerflexing in the mirror or something.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/10/23

Look, man, I don’t claim to know everything about the gender politics of Hootin’ Holler, but I feel like I’ve spent more time thinking about the worldbuilding of this strip generally than just about anyone else, and I’m confident in saying that the menfolk do not let their wives tag along on fishing trips. The whole point of the fishing trip is to create segregated homosocial spaces, and also avoid being nagged about not having a job. I refute this!

Pluggers, 2/10/23

I stared at this a long time wondering if pluggers think a turtleneck is like a backwards shirt, but I think the joke is just that pluggers’ necks are bigger now than they were 40+ years ago — or, in the case of the plugger on display here, that they now simply have no neck at all.