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Archive: Gil Thorp

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Nothing says “sexy” like “Tronc”

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Gil Thorp, 4/12/22

Can’t believe it’s taken the Milford student-athlete body this long to figure out Coach Thorp’s main weaknesses: he isn’t very smart, and he doesn’t pay a lot of attention to any of his specific individual coachees. If you can trick him into forming a positive opinion of you during a ritual reciting of the names, you’ve got a real leg up!

Gasoline Alley, 4/12/22

Dick Tracy and Gasoline Alley are both syndicated by Tribune Publishing, and with everyone trying to exploit in-house IP to the max these days, it should come as no surprise to see innovative experiments in crossover content synergy like this week’s rapidly escalating Dick Tracy porno. Tribune also owns Gil Thorp, so don’t be surprised to see another special erotic guest star by the end of the week.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/12/22

Ha ha, it’s funny because … poor public health infrastructure has resulted in Hootin’ Holler being ravaged by infectious disease? And it’s hit the children the hardest? That’s the punchline?

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Criminals everywhere shake in fear of “The Dandy”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/22

Ahh, we have now discovered what type of superhero Rex’s patient is pretending to be: the fancy kind! What’s it to him, ruffian? The man is wearing a cravat! Clearly he’s an important gentleman and is fully authorized to pose car-ownership questions to all and sundry! Stand down, you cur!

Gil Thorp, 4/11/22

The contours of the spring Gil Thorp storyline are taking shape: tennis star Charis (?) is dating baseball trivia nut Eli “E” “Scooter” Borden. Is it possible he loves baseball trivia … too much? More than he loves his tennis star girlfriend or not being called “Eli”? Stay tuned!

Gasoline Alley, 4/11/22

“Why is Dick Tracy still published in newspaper comics sections?” you’ve probably asked yourself, repeatedly. Well, today’s Gasoline Alley has the answer: the older female demographic that makes up an important part of the comics audience is extremely horny for him. The mystery of why Gasoline Alley is still published in the newspaper remains unsolved, but they’re going to do a whole plotline with Dick Tracy in it, just to be on the safe side.

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Teens: Good or bad?

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Gil Thorp, 4/8/22

Gil Thorp generally hews pretty closely to the holy trinity of football, basketball, and baseball/softball, but every once in a while it tries another sport out for size and I always appreciate it. Today the Milford baseballers are coming out to support tennis star Charis (?) Tompkins, and going on a journey of learning about when and where it’s appropriate to cheer in different sports. A fun fact is that my niece was a pretty high-level gymnast in high school and I went to one of her meets once and very quickly discovered that you are not supposed to loudly boo your team’s opponents, who knew, ha ha! You can’t blame me, my sole experience with competitive gymnastics at the time was a 2006 Gil Thorp storyline where one little girl just starts punching another little girl in the face in the middle of a meet.

Mary Worth, 4/8/22

Ha ha, yes, this dream sequence is shaping up to be exactly as bananas as I’d hoped! Cal looming erotically/threatening over Toby, staring into nothing with dead heart eyes, while the salmon sky burns behind him? The best part is that it’s Friday and we’re really just getting started, which I hope means we have another solid week of this.

Hi and Lois, 4/8/22

The newspaper comics are essentially an art form created by, and mostly for, those middle aged and older, so a lot of it ends being about how the kids today aren’t as cool as the kids used to be. Normally that’s not my jam, but I gotta admit, when they’re right, they’re right.