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Archive: Gil Thorp

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The butterflies are like three feet tall, this is an understandable mistake

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Gil Thorp, 11/4/21

The … B? C? … plot of the fall Gil Thorp storyline is that star running back Chance Macy isn’t really interested in the enticements of the many colleges trying to recruit him, which is definitely perplexing everyone around him, including Boyd, who graciously offers to YouTube-hypnotize Chance with a little flashlight into making him want a full college scholarship and also a debilitating series of concussions, but Chance values his free will just a little too much. Meanwhile, it turns out that the faculty member buying into Boyd’s hypnosis theories is the one you’d least expect: Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp, who’s attempting to plant post-hypnotic suggestions into Kiana so that whenever she sees an opponent with a ball in their hands, she’ll fly into a murderous rage and do anything to get it back. Will that actually be helpful for winning volleyball games? Ultimately that’s for the referee to decide, but it seems worth a shot.

Six Chix, 11/4/21

I guess this lady … thinks these butterflies are angels? And that’s why they’re asking if she’s got problems with her eyes? Because she’s not seeing them for what they are, which is butterflies, and also demons straight from the bowels of hell? This has been “Josh tries and fails to interpret today’s Six Chix,” I thank you for your time and attention.

Hi and Lois, 11/4/21

Oh, man, check out Hi’s facial expression in panel two. Lois may not know how dumb their infant daughter is, but Hi is clearly all too aware of the limits of his son’s mental ambitions.

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You have to pay a real professional for Cryptkeeper-style scary puns

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/29/21

Today’s “punchline” is some seriously low-rent “The real scary clowns are those clowns in Congress, amiright people” BS. But you have to admit it would be pretty fun if national TV news bureaus hired some half-assed Bela Lugosi imitator to do a “spooky” intro to each broadcast, and even more fun if they just made the anchors do it.

Gil Thorp, 10/29/21

A few years back, Gil Thorp did a pretty great storyline where the team student-manager was giving one of their players fake Adderall in order to boost his confidence and thereby his play, which is sort of like what we’re seeing here, where Boyd Spiller is using his YouTube-derived bogus hypnosis skills to convince everyone that he can improve their football and other talents. The difference, I guess, is that the student-manager knew the Adderall he was handing out was fake, whereas Boyd is probably going to convince himself that he really is a master of hypnosis, with hopefully extremely hilarious results.

Zits, 10/29/21

I don’t really care much about the content of this Zits, but I do want to point out that in the span of time it takes Walt and his son to utter four sentences, he’s removed a bone-in ham from the refrigerator, used it to assemble a large, sloppy sandwich, and completely consumed it and licked the remaining mustard off his fingers, a sequence terrifyingly dagwoodian in its efficiency.

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Wilbur has definitely ordered this restaurant’s trademark “Royale With Cheese”

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Gil Thorp, 10/19/21

Much as I make fun of Gil Thorp, I do think it puts in slightly more of an effort at keeping up with trends young people might be into than you’d expect for a long running soap opera strip. And sure, sometimes it results in strips where the Milford principal sternly intones that “sexting” is a hot new craze that’s been in Time and Newsweek, but in general our dumb teens do some recognizable dumb teen things. And that means that strip also takes account of the ways those dumb teen things evolve over time! For instance, back in 2009 when the strip did a YouTube storyline, it was about teen boys uploading videos of wacky plays and going viral, whereas 2021’s YouTube storyline is about teen boys getting redpilled into some weird scammy bullshit. Looking forward to the playdowns getting thrown into chaos when the kids all become obsessed with the idea that the Federal Reserve is run by “lizard men.”

Hi and Lois, 10/19/21

What really sells this to me how bummed out Hi looks by the reception to his dinner. “But … I made overboiled buttery noodles! Kids love this crap!”

Mary Worth, 10/19/21

How is Wilbur’s date with Carol going? Well, he starts this portion of the conversation with “As a someone with a column in a newspaper that nobody reads, I sometimes go to cities I don’t live in!” and yet manages to get even more insufferable after that.