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Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/23/25

Oh, I’m sorry, did you think that Buck Wise would decorate his lawn with a boring, pedestrian “inflatable” of the Grinch or some similar garbage? Why, that would be like asking Glenwood’s #1 promoter of roots country/”Ameripolitan” bullshit to jam out to Taylor Swift or the hip-hop music or whatever. Sorry, Buck is getting into the Christmas spirit with the vintage blow mold figures that he drained Corey’s college fund to buy on eBay and whose original and authentically frayed electrical cords represent a significant fire hazard.

Hi and Lois, 12/23/25

Not sure what potential interpretation I like more here: that this is a plan the Flagstons and Thurstons cooked up together that’s gone horribly awry, or that Thirsty simply showed up at his friend’s door, dressed as Santa and visibly drunk, and bullied his way inside to spread a little Christmas cheer to the neighbor kids. Either way the fact that “Santa’s sack” is clearly just an extra-large Hefty garbage bag full of who knows what really adds to the delightfully bad vibes.

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Hi and Lois, 12/20/25

Now, if you were an ordinary, casual comics enjoyer, you’d read this strip and think “Ha, it’s funny because Hi thinks so little of his children that he’s glad they got parts without dialogue,” or, if you’re more theologically inclined, “Ha, it’s funny because Hi is ignorant of the Bible, in which both the shepherds and the angels very much have lines.” If you’re the Comics Curmudgeon, though, you have access to a deep archive of Hi and Lois content and know that just a year ago Ditto was actively trying to abandon the speaking part he managed to land in the nativity play, so actually Hi is being supportive of his children’s ambitions, or, in this case, their lack thereof.

Mary Worth, 12/20/25

Now, obviously, the main attraction here is Mary’s “Oh dear” thought balloon as her gal pal confesses that she can’t choose between her husband of several decades and a parrot she found in a park less than a month ago, but I’m kind of fixated on the weird brown color of the carrot that Toby is hungrily staring at. Seems like the sort of fading vegetable you’d feed to a bird, honestly. Is Toby having trouble determining where her loyalties lie because she’s slowly being transformed into a parrot herself?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/20/25

Sure, Summer is a receptionist and not medical staff, but it still must be kind of embarrassing to be the only person working at a health clinic who doesn’t know where babies come from.

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Hi and Lois, 12/8/25

Let’s forget for a moment the incomprehensible/not funny punchline of this one and try to understand the lead-up to it. Why is Chip telling his father, who is watching exactly the same movie that he is, that there’s a parental warning on it? Shouldn’t Hi be just as capable of reading it as Chip is? Is it written in some format that only teens can read, like, uh, Minecraft font? Is there a Minecraft font? Is Minecraft still a thing that teens like, in the year 2025?

Zits, 12/8/25

Honestly, while I’m fine with the Zits parents (who were my boomer parents’ age when the strip debuted in the ’90s) staying the same age but becoming Gen Xers, I’m a little unsettled by Jeremy (who was just a few years younger than me when the strip debuted in the ’90s) staying the same age but being into things that contemporary teens are into, like Minecraft. I mean, Minecraft is still a thing that teens like, in the year 2025, right? “Watching” Minecraft? Surely the syndicated newspaper comic strip Zits wouldn’t steer me wrong about teens!

Gil Thorp, 12/8/25

In 1966, Gay Talese transformed the art of magazine writing with “Frank Sinatra Has A Cold,” a profile that turned Sinatra’s refusal to give an interview into a central part of its structure. Will Gil Thorp do the same for the newspaper comics with “Gil Thorp Has A Serious Respiratory Illness Of Some Kind”? I mean, maybe? Or maybe Gil will just sweat a lot, who knows.

B.C., 12/8/25

The characters in B.C. live with a strange mix of stone age technology and modern conveniences and attitudes. This is not a criticism! I get that this is, in fact, the central joke of the strip! However, today’s installment does make me wonder if one of the modern things they have access to is the rabies vaccine. I worry!