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Marvin, 4/10/26

Pixar’s beloved Toy Story movies are about, among other things, the complicated emotional relationship between toys and humans, especially when humans become too old for toys anymore. Marvin has been doing something similar this week, except that the toys and Marvin kind of hate each other, and now his parents have told him that he has to leave them in his toy box almost all the time, and they’re going to die.

Mary Worth, 4/10/26

Despite her fearsome reputation, Mary is, honestly, fairly conflict averse. She’s still reeling over the time Harvey stormed off because she gently suggested to him that maybe he’s not “in love,” he just got horny over a fake lady on his phone. So she’s really trying her darndest to get Sharon to show up at Charterstone without saying the words “scam” or “$200,000,” and it’s really quite impressive.

Hi and Lois, 4/10/26

I feel like this would make a little more sense if this was just a random young person for Hi to be scornful towards, but, you know what? I’m enjoying the scenario we’ve been given here, where he’s taking an elevator ride with his own son, who has turned his back on his father and is listening to music or a podcast or maybe even just white noise rather than trying to interact with him in any way.

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Rhymes With Orange, 4/9/26

I assume the intended joke here is that George forgot his glasses somewhere else — at his home, maybe, or maybe just in the other room — but I can’t stop imagining a truly nightmarish scenario where when you die you become a spirit cursed to haunt the world of the living but not be perceived by them, and if you had bad vision when you were alive you still do, but you can’t wear glasses because you’re a spectre without physical form and/or you don’t have a nose. Anyway, that ghost is gonna fuck that cabinet, right? That’s definitely what’s on the menu here?

Archie, 4/9/26

Jughead, sad that his conversations with his best friend aren’t as sparkling as they once were, has hired this high-tech young woman to, in his words, “Cyrano” for him, monitoring Archie’s mood on a tablet and relaying instructions into a hidden bluetooth earpiece. Unfortunately, it turns out she may have overrepresented her talents.

Hi and Lois, 4/9/26

Don’t have much to say about the Flagston twins’ specific conundrum here but I do like the expression on the bus driver’s face. That’s someone who’s extremely sick of these kids’ shit. Not sure if it’s about Dot and Ditto specifically or just children in general, but either way I’m enjoying it.

Crankshaft and Shoe, 4/9/26

Hey, uh. Um. How to put this delicately. I think if you’re involved in the process of churning out a legacy comic strip, maybe you … shouldn’t … do jokes that are like, “You know what’s better than a hack writer? AI! Ha ha!” Just, like … don’t give people ideas, you know? About your job?

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Hi and Lois, 4/7/26

You know, if, before today, you had asked me which Walker-Browne character would have been the first to declare themselves a sovereign citizen, I would’ve guessed Rocky from Beetle Bailey. I can’t say that it’s a huge surprise to see Thirsty winning this particular race, however.

Judge Parker, 4/7/26

OK, so, when I said that this thing was maybe a fraternity paddle yesterday, I was joking, because where would they get a fraternity paddle? But Randy as an ex frat boy suddenly makes a lot of sense, honestly. He went to Harvard Law but Harvard doesn’t have a Greek system, so where do we think he did undergrad? Duke? Feels like a Duke guy, right?

Gil Thorp, 4/7/26

FORESHADOWING! Which Mudlark golfer will lose an eye when a sudden gust blows a chip shot right back in their face? Who will be found liable when courtroom testimony about this very conversation results in multiple diverging interpretations, Rashomon-style? Stay tuned to Gil Thorp to find out!